I love the title of Jane Pauley’s book Your Life Calling: Reimagining the Rest of Your Life. The title sums up my mission–helping you realize that your life can be different and the only way to make it so is to begin imagining it exactly how you choose. If you do not start to write the script, you will remain an extra in your own life!
Many of us women are trying so hard to be what we think other people need in order to find success. And even if we are not looking outside for validation of our own worth, we are rarely following our heart when it comes to making money. Jane Pauley, writing about negotiating stated, “We often think that what comes naturally isn’t of value.”
Yet, in my experience what comes naturally usually is exactly what creates the most value. Even in traditional business roles where women often put forth more masculine traits to become successful, feminine traits that might come more naturally are exactly what’s needed.
In fact, Jane Pauly (who has interviewed heads of state and negotiated big deals) elaborates, “leadership skills–being empathetic and collaborative, listening, avoiding conflict–that are in a woman’s negotiation toolkit, should not be discounted. We need to identify them as strengths so that we can leverage them.” But instead, we downplay these feminine qualities attempting to prove our ability to push through, be decisive and drive hard bargains because we fear being seen as weak.
Tonight before bed, make a list of your strengths, even the ones you think others might not value–especially in your workplace. What comes naturally to you? What do you make look easy, and cannot figure out why others find it hard to do? Maybe these are traits or skills you only let shine outside of the workplace. There is no right or wrong answers — just self exploration about what comes easy for you and what does not. Start to get to know yourself, your strengths and natural abilities.
If you do this often enough you will start to learn what things you are truly good at — not the things you push to be good at. These things also might make you happier than those you have to prove you can… (fill in the blank). And what if, just what if you could make more money doing a job that valued what comes easy for you than you make now doing what you think people want of you? Just what if???
