If you could go back in time and give advice to your younger self, perhaps just as you graduated—what would you say?
Last week one of my daughters graduated college. It was a wonderful moment–perhaps as much for me as her. She is smart, inspiring and poised to do great things.
Her graduation reminded me that I am proud of all my children and so excited for where they each are heading. Yet, even as they are becoming adults I want so much to guide them, give them words of wisdom, offer the perfect thought that helps them navigate the years ahead.
While I reflected upon what I could say to her that might be meaningful, I began to ponder what I wish someone had told me. What advice might have helped me traverse life, especially those early pivotal years when I first set sail?
- Be bold?
- Believe in yourself?
- Take risks?
- Follow your heart?
These, and others, are important. Yet, today the advice I wish I had heard and followed is:
Don’t settle!
Don’t settle for “good enough”—not in your career, not in love, not in yourself.
At one time or another, you may have realized you missed pursuing something that made you joyful for something safe. It was probably the fear that you would never find something better than what you had—so why risk losing it—that drove these choices.
If you are honest, you might find that your own choices have often made your life stagnant with this type of thinking. My advice today to my daughter (and to myself) is simply don’t settle. What does that mean?
Pursue jobs and careers that you would do even if they weren’t paying you.
Stay with someone ONLY if they bring out the best in you and make you feel connected, happy and inspired. If not, leave and don’t worry about whether you will ever find someone else as good. (You can be sure you won’t if you stay with this person.)
Whatever you do, give it your best effort. This is true in romance, friendship, parenting, work, volunteering, everything. Don’t do it if you aren’t willing to go the extra mile. If you limit what you invest yourself in only to things that matter you will have more time for everything you care about and everything you do will be much more effective.
No matter what our age, each day we graduate to the next. What do you want to do with the rest of your life?
Are you settling? If so, stop. I challenge you to find the places you have allowed “good enough” to be the standard, then raise the bar, risk change, expect more.
