“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” ~Buckminster Fuller
I love this quote because it reminds me to avoid the way I used to approach injustices—as if I could convince, demand or cajole the “truth” of my perspective. Whether with my children, my partners, or at my work–the raw fact is other people have different “truths.” On top of that, it seems the more I fought, the less I got. Maybe you’ve had some of these experiences, too?
- Asking the kids to do the dishes…again
- Fighting with a spouse about them always assuming you’re available to watch the children when they make plans
- Feeling passed over for a promotion that you felt was yours
Sometimes, these situations feel futile and draining. You might ask how can you build a new model for things like doing dishes? It is possible, but you have to step back from the problem and look at it from a wider view. Here is an example:
One year, I took the kids to a paint-your-own-ceramic outing. Each of us painted our own plate, bowl and cup. We had a blast. The kids were enthralled at the idea of having their own personally painted dishes. When the day came to bring the beautiful glazed dinnerware home, we moved our regular dishes to an inconvenient location and put our masterpieces in their place.
After meals when it finally came time to do dishes, they were now forced to see that their dish was dirty and understand theirs had to be cleaned before they could eat again. I no longer had to beg, plead, or threaten for anyone to do their dishes! I no longer had to referee arguments over who’s turn it was or who’s mess it was. I changed the model and the problems I was seeing under the old model evaporated.
The same is true for opportunities women have (or don’t have) in business, politics or any other field. Statistics are shockingly low for women in positions of power and even lower for funding women entrepreneurs verses their male counterparts.
Should we fight this injustice?
I suggest we take Buckminster Fuller’s advice and change the model. As important as it will be to change unconscious and conscious cultural biases, it is equally or more important for women with resources to start helping other women. This could be resources of time, money or position.
When Ella Fitzgerald could not get into a big Hollywood club early in her career, Marilyn Monroe told the club she would attend every show and bring the press. The club agreed, and Ella Fitzgerald became one of the best knows female singers in the world. Marilyn used her position in the entertainment world and her time to help another woman.
According to Business Insider, women over 50 control $15 trillion in capital. When these women start to become angel investors supporting women entrepreneurs, it will completely change the game of early stage investment.
You may not have vast amounts of money or even time. But that does not mean you cannot make a difference and help change the existing model of business, politics, education or any other field you are passionate about. Think about it like this:
- 85% of purchases in the U.S. are made by women
- Women make 80% of healthcare decisions
- 40% of all American private businesses are owned by women
Yet, 91% of women say they do not think advertisers understand them. 50% of products marketed to men are typically bought by women.
You vote at the polls, with your credit cards and cash, and even where you send your children to school. Start to investigate the possibilities of where you can put your money, voice and time behind a woman. Because if 50% of the population started to move our support to other women–rather than waiting for men to, the existing model will become obsolete.
