Author Archives: Amy Beilharz

Are you in your own way?

Do you wish things in your life were better? Different? Are you are getting in your own way?

I think everyone has things they want to see improve–whether in their career, relationships or health. Yet, I have noticed that these changes are slow and laborious, if they happen at all.

Does it feel that way to you? You go on a diet and the weight comes off slowly, but it comes right back. You go to counseling with your partner and things change for a while but then you find yourselves back in old patterns. Maybe you got a promotion at work a few years back but now feel stalled in this position.

I have learned a few things lately that can change this trajectory–or lack of one–for you and me. These tips can move you from slow and steady progress, with numerous setbacks, to quantum leaps towards the life you desire!

Did you know that our minds operate the same way a rocket gets to the moon or a plane on auto pilot gets back on course? It is through thousands of small adjustments that the rocket ship arrives at the moon, exactly on course–slightly off course the whole trip (always correcting.

Your mind works exactly the same way, only sometimes the course you keep resetting to is exactly the one you are trying to move off of.

Have you ever noticed someone who is finally making big improvements in their lives and then they sabotage themselves? You probably wonder why they would do that and comment what a shame it is that they did. It is because the good they were creating was not aligned to their internal belief about who they are or what they deserve, so their subconscious mind does what it takes to get them “back on course.”

It is called cybernetics, and Maxwell Maltz wrote a great book about it in the 1960s called “Psycho-Cybernetics” that describes this human tendency in detail. It is a thought provoking book, and if you haven’t read it you should.

The bigger question in your mind is probably how do you change your subconscious mind’s set point, so you can lose the weight, advance in your career or permanently improve your relationship.

It is really quite simple. There are three steps:

Move your attention from what you do not want to what you do.
Start to see yourself as having what you do want.
Expect the good you want; not the bad you do not.
Look for what is already good and be grateful for it.

We are going to look at these individually over the next few weeks. I will bring you tips and exercises to help you do each one because by changing your internal cybernetic mechanism you will be able to shift your life dramatically in the direction of your desires.

Are you ready to take a quantum leap?

I want to leave you with a quote from another fantastic book called You Squared (it actually is You with the 2 up high in the mathematical position of square which I simply cannot replicate in WordPress.)

The quantum leap is something you’ve been keeping from happening. It’s not something you have to struggle to make happen. You don’t really force it into existence…you just let it occur. The key is not to get in the way!

Here’s to getting out of our own way! I would love to here how it goes for you here or on my facebook page.

Lead with your heart and success will follow

Jane Chen, of Embrace Innovations, has created a wrap for premature babies to keep their body temperature stable–a big risk for these babies. Her baby warmers are significantly less expensive than incubators and one model has an insert that can be warmed with hot water, eliminating the need for electricity. Jane is making both an impact on thousands of lives and a profitable company. Now that is thinking with her heart and outside the box!

Most people think of helping poor impoverished adolescent girls as charity. However, the Girl Effect Accelerator (GEA) thought differently. Sponsored by Nike, GEA has sponsored 13 entrepreneurs who had product ideas targeted exactly at this market of low income young women, especially in poorer areas.

Ayzh, another GEA company, has a low cost clean birth kit to decrease infections during and after child birth. According to BBC News, Zubaida Bai, the company’s founder, says that companies such as her own, with the support offered by GEA, are helping to challenge the mistaken belief that only charities can assist people living in poverty. I love this idea that we can create profitable companies that do good!

These women had ideas and got the boost they needed by getting information and mentoring from the GEA initiative. (GEA does not fund the selected companies–which may be what Nike needs to think about next, since access to capital is often the missing link in women with great ideas getting them to the level needed to make an impact.)

If you had the needed capital, mentoring support and a team with the right skills, what idea would you pursue to make the world a better place? Wait a minute, let go of that thought that you can’t because you have bills to pay, kids to raise, or some problem to fix, first.

Just imagine you have everything you need. Now ask yourself again, if you had the tools and support to make it happen what idea would you pursue that could improve the world?

Take 5 minutes every day to journal and imagine what this would feel like to pursue. Add in the details of what you would do, who you would be helping, and what it would look like. If you do this regularly with enough imagination you might find yourself one day living your dream!

What is beneath your snow storm?

Do you feel covered over in a blanket of to-do’s, as if you’ve been buried in a snow storm? Maybe something big has happened that was unexpected and unpleasant; leaving you feeling tumbled by an avalanche.

Somewhere in that tall drift of heavy snow is a hidden gem; something totally beautiful.

As you remove the snow (read obstacles) from your path, take your attention off the weight of the snow in your shovel and the pain in your shoulders and view your surroundings.

Take a few deep breaths and think of something you are grateful for. Then with your attention off the obstacles in your life, look around from a wider perspective.

You will soon notice the little blessings and momentary beauty like this statue of Quan Yin in my friend’s yard one recent morning. Quan Yin’s serene morning reflection in her cloak of snow is no doubt gone today. However, she offered her blessing at the moment of this picture.

Widen your vista and your own blessings will appear. They are there to lighten your load and give you momentum that no amount of force or attention to your problems can bring.

Women in Politics

The 2014 midterm elections marked a series of exciting firsts for women in politics.

Did you know…

the first black Republican woman was elected to Congress.
the first 30-year-old woman was elected in Congress.
Congress amassed 104 female members for the first time ever.

Yet, there is still so much more ground to gain. Why? If we want to be fully represented by our government, we need women to be involved in politics–running for office, helping in campaigns and voting for women.

95 years after we have won the ability to vote, we are still far away from equal representation.

Here are some other interesting statistics from MAKERS:

Today, the Senate includes only 20 women.
Women make up nearly 60 percent of college students, and law schools are half-female–but Congress doesn’t reflect those numbers.
The number of women chairing committees has actually been reduced from 9 to 2, leaving less women in powerful positions.
63 other nations have had past or present female heads of government.
95% of American voters would vote for a well-qualified woman (up 20% from 1978, according to a Gallup poll.)

To feel fully empowered in our society, we will have to be creating the rules that govern us and have our views be part of the very fabric of each important discussion. Look hard each election at how you can help our daughters live in a world where women in leadership is a given, not a goal.

One Billion Rising

Did you know that one out of every three women will be beaten or raped in her lifetime? That is one billion women!

This was a statistic that both knocked me off my feet and brought tears to my eyes. I am a mother of three beautiful, vibrant young women and that statistic hits much too close to my heart.

This is not a statistic you can ignore and think it is someone else’s problem (or only happens in impoverished areas or countries).

I love what Eve Ensler is doing about it. She has started a movement called One Billion Rising and they are working to end violence against women. Each year, they ask women around the world to come together to sing and dance raising their voice in union.

Here is what she says about it:

“We rise through dance to express joy and community and celebrate the fact that we have not been defeated by this violence. We rise to show we are determined to create a new kind of consciousness – one where violence will be resisted until it is unthinkable.” – Eve Ensler

At last week’s Academy Awards, President Obama, in his recorded message, asked those in the entertaining arts to help end violence against women and girls through their power over our cultural view of what is normal.

Changing this is a group activity. Only when we stand together can we actually change this horrific statistic. A woman individually can attempt to remove herself from violence, but women collectively can create a power that changes it permanently. Men raised by strong women–who are not abused–are less likely to abuse. Girls raised by compassionate men–who do not abuse–are less likely to get into an abusive relationship.

Look around your own community. Are there groups you can help? Are there programs in your schools to help empower the girls? What might you do that could make a difference? Every act helps. Every step that empowers our young women and demonstrates to our young men women’s value takes us closer to the world Eve speaks of–a world where violence is unthinkable!

Lessons from the Always #LikeAGirl Campaign

Sometime back, I tweeted and posted on Facebook about the Always video #LikeAGirl. It became an online sensation for a while and if you missed it, watch it here for a quick lesson on empowering our daughters and each other.

Raising three daughters, I am always thrilled when messages come out that collaborate lessons I am trying to teach them, since, so often, what they see does not.

This ad reminded me of a group of women who came to my zipline canopy tour business called, Ride Like A Girl. It was a mountain biking club and they were all women, with bumper stickers on their cars and wearing t-shirts sporting the slogan, “I ride like a girl.”

My girls were young (7,10 and 12) when these fun and wild women came through our doors. I remember one of my girls looking at me and asking, “What does that mean–ride like a girl?” I said it means they are really strong.

When I worked in corporate America I spent a great deal of energy making sure no one noticed I was “a girl.”

Don’t show your feelings. Don’t be too soft on people when they have problems. Be logical, decisive and forceful. Do not let them know you used your intuition for any decision, even if you do–find facts to prove it after you already know. And most important, laugh at the jokes about women and don’t act offended.

I learned early on that to get ahead I could not be #likeagirl. I am glad every time someone tells my son and my daughters that being like a girl is a good thing. Because if you have to hide a very basic fact of your being to be powerful; you learn to doubt every other part of yourself, too.

Are there any parts of being a woman (or a girl) that you have hidden away to be accepted or powerful? Maybe it is time to reclaim all of you. Because when you bring all of you to your life again, you also have all that energy you’ve been using to keep these parts of you hidden. It takes a lot of energy to not be you.

What do you do #likeagirl?

A Shifting Wind in the Portrayal of Women in the Media

For years, you and I have been fighting the forces of media that label women as sex objects to sell beer and cars or represent strong women as androgynous or overbearing. I sense a shifting wind towards the portrayal of women in the media.

Today, media–in advertising, movies, and music–is starting to portray women as both sexy and strong; quiet and bold.

It is refreshing to find images that support our young women growing into their adulthood with at least some images that propel them to be who they choose instead of who they feel compelled to be in order to be liked.

It may not be a perfect set of messages our girls are exposed to, but it is changing. When big names like Dove, Pantene, and Gillette make women’s empowerment their theme, you know the winds of change have taken force.

I have shared with you Pantene’s ad Sorry and Dove’s wonderful videos about media distortion of what women look like.

Here’s another ad from Gillete.

I like it. Whatever you think of their company, I am glad to see major female consumer products putting their large ad dollars into messages that empower our girls.

How about you, are you feeling the shifting winds?

How do you describe yourself?

My 26 year-old-son forwarded this Dove YouTube video to my daughters and me.

It was overwhelming–both in the message and the messenger. I remember crying deeply after receiving his email with the link.

I wonder how many women could describe themselves accurately, including the beauty they possess in their description. Is it one in a hundred that see themselves as beautiful? One in a thousand? Or is it even less? I know interviews with famous beautiful women often convey a deep seated doubt in their looks and their beauty, even though they are receiving great attention because of it.

How do you describe yourself? Are you quick to point out your own flaws? Can you even see your own light?

Yesterday, I was traveling and went into a convenience store for a bag of nuts to hold me over through the long day. As we were talking, the young man behind the counter looked at me and said, “You are a very beautiful woman!” I was speechless and struck. Finally, I caught my breath and thanked him for the complement with a big smile.

I am so grateful for this stranger who reminded me I am not flawed, as the media would like me to believe so I will buy their product. I am not many of the things my inner critic makes me feel. I am beautiful. And so are you. And the funny thing is, the more beautiful we feel the more beautiful we become.

Look yourself in the eye tonight when you are at the mirror and tell yourself, “You are beautiful!” And tomorrow, find another woman to remind of this same thing. We hear far too many messages we are not enough.

Let’s help each other remember we are perfect, just the way we are!

Superwoman not to the Rescue

Does your success come at too high a price?

Or have you forsaken achieving success because you were unwilling to pay the price?

Bonnie Marcus wrote a great blog about this awhile back, that I still relate to a little more than I would like to admit. She talks about breaking through any obstacles with strong intention, passion and energy to power through. Does that sound a bit familiar?

Each of us has our own way of countering burnout that comes from this over-achiever mindset; whether it is meditation, yoga, running, journalling, or a night out with friends. But in some ways these positive habits just keep us stuck in this pendulum pattern similar to enabling an addict.

Maybe the trick is not in pacifying our tired, stressed out soul with a quick fix; nor is it giving up achieving altogether.

Perhaps we need to stop pushing through and start listening to our inner voice that tells us something is not right. What if the struggle is more about not following the question that would help us achieve our goal with ease?

Somewhere, you and I were taught that to get anywhere, we had to work hard ( in fact harder than everyone else if you want to be on top). But have you ever noticed how many truly successful people are actually enjoying what they are doing, and work does not appear to be a struggle?

It is time to start asking if the struggle is because what we are doing is not what we really want to do, or is it a struggle over what we think we should be doing. Maybe you spent a lot of time in this industry and think it is where your strength is even though it does not inspire you? Or do you feel tied to what you do because of all the bills, debt or maybe your children’s college expense?

Bob Proctor recently gave me two incredibly simple, yet life changing, questions that I will now give you.

1. How does this make you feel?

2. Do you want to feel more of this?

If it makes you feel good and you want to feel more of it, then you are on the right track and there won’t be a need to be superwoman because you will be enjoying what you do. If it does not, then listen to that voice and take action. No more ploughing through because you are tough enough to do so. You will be amazed at the energy burst you get when you start to listen to this voice. I know I was.

And did you know there is a bonus gift to doing so? Prosperity will find you much easier when you are pursuing your dreams. It will also find you happier than when you are struggling, pushing through, and being superwoman.

So relax and start to enjoy the journey. Ask yourself these two simple questions regularly, about little and big things. And see what magic starts to happen.

What do you REALLY want?

I often study Napoleon Hill’s work.

He wrote Think and Grow Rich and The 15 Laws of Success. Most of today’s self-help industry is based on Hill’s work in the early 1900’s. Although it looks like it is tied to money as a form of success, Hill really speaks to attaining your desires, whatever they may be.

One aspect of Hill’s work that I love is his revelation that of the 16,000 people he studied the successful ones (only 5% of the total people studied) all were doing what they loved!

How amazing is that?

My work, whether coaching women in business or personal areas, always starts with going deep into the question, “What do you really want?” For years, I could not even begin to answer that question, even about the most mundane things like what restaurant to go to. Why? Because my radar was tuned so strongly to my environment, keeping everyone else happy, and doing what others wanted as my means of getting ahead that I had lost touch with looking inside to find any answers—even those.

You, too, might be struggling to define what you really want. Without having a definite purpose or aim your life probably feels lackluster. Many women go through life like a ship without a rudder because they spent so many years helping others achieve their goals—spouses, children, even bosses.

If you have reached the point where you no longer have children at home, or you want to change your work but don’t quite know how then now is the time to invest in you and find your passion and create a plan to live it.

Carol Hagar and I create women’s retreats throughout the year to help women find their strength and live from it. Our beginning of the year retreats are always amazing because our focus as a culture is always keen on creating plans and making changes at this time of year.

I invite you to join us this year, as we bring together a group of kindred sisters and explore true nature of our inner wishes and find the means of expressing them in our world. We will meet near Austin, Texas, on Saturday, January 31^st. If you cannot make it in person, we will have a live training online later in February. However, if you attend live you will get the added benefit of connecting with other women who can hold your intention in their hearts as you move forward into creating 2015 to be your best year thus far.

PART OF INFLUENTIAL WOMEN, INC.

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