Author Archives: Amy Beilharz

Women Making An Impact

Over the Thanksgiving holiday, I spent some time remembering all the women I am grateful for who have made an impact on my life—my mom (who was my biggest fan and I miss deeply), my nana (who loved me unconditionally in a way few humans know how), my daughters (who continue to teach me about being a woman), my good friend Carol (who inspires me when I start to doubt myself), and so many others.

Then, I started thinking about the amazing women across the globe making a significant impact on our world.  Women like Donna Berber with her Glimmer of Hope Foundation bringing water to communities across Africa, Marianne Williamson running for political office and changing the conversation from them and us to we, and so many other amazing women.  I wondered how much greater impact could these women make if more people knew about their work, and how many more women are there that I don’t even know about.  

When Ella Fitzgerald could not get booked at a coveted venue in 1955, Marilyn Monroe offered to sit in the front row every night Ella played–to bring in the press for the club and get Ella booked.  It worked and Ella’s career took off.  Who knows what would have happened without the help of a sister!  

When women support each other great things can happen.  So add to this conversation on my Facebook page and spread the word about a woman who you admire making an impact on our world.  Let’s give these women the spotlight they deserve.  Can you imagine the difference we could make if we women began a concerted effort to support and promote other women?

Start here, start today!

 

Educating Girls Worldwide Matters!

This week Ann Cotton, an amazing role model for women about making a difference, received the WISE (World Innovative Summit for Education) award for her role founding Camfed, and organization that has helped millions of African girls stay in school.

Ann started Camfed in 1993 to create sponsorship to a few dozen girls so their families could afford to keep them in primary school.  Today, it is estimated that over 3 million students benefit indirectly from Camfed’s activities, which include financial support of students, teacher training, and mentoring community activists — all with the goal of giving all children access to primary education (especially girls who still rank well below boys in completing primary school in poor countries).

Some might ask why I focus on empowering girls and women and why educating girls around the globe is so important.  This past fall, I found out why this matters at Just Like My Child’s gala event, which raised money for the Girl Power project.  Here are a few reasons:

  • 51% of the world’s population are women and 64% of illiterate adults are women.
  • More than 100 million children remain out of schools and 66 million of them are girls, half in the sub-Saharan Africa.
  • When a girl educated for 7 years or more, she marries 4 years later and has 2.2 fewer children.
  • Empowering women and girls raises economic productivity and reduces infant mortality. It contributes to improved health and nutrition, and increases the chances of education for the next generation.
  • When women and girls earn income, they reinvest 90% of it into their families, compared to 30-40% for males earning income.
  • When a woman is financially independent, she can stand her ground, speak her voice, her children are stronger and healthier and the state of the world improves exponentially.
  • Education has proven to yield larger impacts than any other form of aid and assistance for men or women.  With education sexually transmitted disease, including HIV, go down, early pregnancies decrease, and income potential increases.

I leave you with these words from Nelson Mandela:

“No country can really progress unless its citizens are educated.”

What I’m Thankful For: Women That Are Making A Difference!

I am so grateful and thankful for all the ways women are creating real differences in our world!  There are so many of you making immense contributions in your communities.  THANK YOU!

Here are some of my favorite (more visible) game changers.  Who do you know making a difference?  Share some of your favorites on my Facebook page.  The more we applaud each other, the greater our reach and the larger our impact.  Let’s grow this list and spread the word about women who are making a difference!

1.  Marianne Williamson for stepping into the political arena running for U.S. Congress in California.  Such a big, bold move for one of our leaders in women spirituality.   I loved her authenticity and willingness to bring a wider, more inclusive perspective to politics.  Even though she did not win the congressional seat, Marianne did open the political conversation as she challenged both parties to higher integrity and gave voice to many people who have checked out of the political system–believing it will not change.  Marianne not only demanded change from politicians, she also challenged each of us to take seriously our role in making the United States how we want it rather than complain from the side-lines.

2.  Cynthia Kersey for starting Unstoppable, which ensures that African youth have the ability to improve their lives and those in their community by building schools. Nelson Mandela said, “No country can truly develop unless its citizens are educated.”  That is what Cynthia’s Unstoppable Foundation does!

3.  Reshma Saujani for launching Girls Who Code, the nation’s pre-eminent nonprofit dedicated to closing the tech gender gap.   Reshma has gained support of Google, Facebook and other high tech companies and is fostering an attitude of can do in an area where girls are often told they can’t.  And I love her because she has set this bold, big goal to teach one million high school students (females) and to code.

4.  Dina Habib Powel for setting large, amazing goals (AND MEETING THEM) to increase the number of women entrepreneurs by educating 10,000 women. Now she has the goal of reaching 100,000 female owned businesses with $600 million in capital through the world bank.  Dina is an example of setting big goals and then believing strongly enough in them that they come true!

5.  Farhana Huq for creating a non-profit called C.E.O. Women (Creating Economic Opportunities for Women), whic teaches low-income immigrant women to become savvy entrepreneurs.  In four years she has helped 450 women start or expand their businesses and become strong.  The impact of helping these women move from being dependent to standing on their feet not only affects these women individually but also their families and their communities.

6.  Jules Piere for growing her company, The Grommet, to a world class status — providing a marketing and distribution platform for innovative and creative product ideas that might not otherwise have a way to reach their market.  Her concept of Citizen Commerce takes back the power to choose from multi-national chains into the hands of consumers like you and I.  It is a brilliant concept that helps newly founded companies actually have a shot at success where they might otherwise be an unknown unable to break through.

7.  Robin Ely for making substantive changes at Harvard by pushing to include women protagonists in their case studies and being spokeswoman for women’s empowerment.  Changing the way world leaders view women starts where these leaders are being formed and Robin is making changes that will stick.

8.  Vivian Glyck for forming  Just Like My Child (and Girl Power), which empower girls in Africa to stand up against violence and abuse, stay in school and marry later than the average of 11 years old.  The message of empowerment is strong and working!  (We could use this program in our schools here in the United States, too.)  Her project empowers both the volunteers who help and those they are helping.  I plan to take my three girls to Africa to help this cause next summer.

These are just a few of the amazing women in the world today, making a difference.  Send me info on others you know of so we can spread the word, support fellow sisters who are working hard on our behalf and inspire each other!

Are You Grateful for YOU?

You probably have been seeing things about gratitude in emails, Facebook posts, and every other venue possible.  It’s that time of year.  And while being reminded to give thanks is useful, when it is so commercialized it can sometimes stay at the surface – “Oh yeah, I am grateful for my job, my spouse, my house, my family….”

My challenge to you is not just to take it deeper, but also to point your gratitude in the direction you rarely remember to do—YOU!  Every day for this next month invest five minutes listing or journalling all the things you are grateful for about yourself.  Oh I know, we have been conditioned to be grateful for everyone and everything else, but not ourselves. Find something about you to praise, today. You might risk being considered egotistic or worse narcissistic! Yet, you will find you have infinitely more gratitude for others when you are grateful for yourself.

Let me know what surprises you find in this exercise (you will), what gems you uncover about yourself (they are many) AND what starts to shift in your outer world as you start to recognize your worth and value in it (it will).

Please share your surprise finds on my Facebook Page. We are building a community of empowered women, share your wins for  us all to be boosted by them!

Headwinds Slowing Your Career?

Every once in awhile you have to ask yourself if you are taking advantage of prevailing winds, or trying to move directly into a headwind.  All of us at one time or another, let others stall out our goals through their doubts, skepticism or dismissal of our capacity to achieve them.   As women, we can let the proverbial glass ceiling become our reality because sometimes our gender can feel like a strong headwind.

If you are like me you probably enjoy learning from others how they dealt with similar situations.  If so, read this article by Adam Bryant in the New York Times, about four top executive women.   Each of these women talk about the challenges of being a woman at the top, and on the way to the top of the corporate world.

The keys to overcoming the headwinds and changing your sails to make your progress smoother are many.  Here are a few key ones brought to light by these women:

  1. Be clear, not angry, when boundaries are crossed.  Be willing to take a stand. (Dara Richardson-Heron M.D., CEO Y.W.C.A USA, talks about insisting she be judged on her performance, not her dress early in her career.)
  2. Claim your seat at the table.  Don’t downplay your successes.  (Sharon Napier, CEO Partners + Napier, points out if you are going to be a leader “you have to be comfortable owning who you are, and owning it big.”
  3. Go for leadership positions because when we have more female leaders it will be easier for all people to think a female voice is the voice of leadership.  Let’s start to assume our position as influential women and change the perception.  (Jody Greenstone-Miller, CEO The Business Talent Group, feels many of the feminine traits that supposedly hold women back are actually a symptom of so few women at the top.)
  4.  Speak up for what you want.  Don’t assume people will know where you want to take your career.  (Jenny Ming, CEO Charlotte Russe clothing chain, talks about being passed over for a promotion because her boss thought with three children she wouldn’t want to advance.)

The Power Is In Your Hands!

“The power is in your hands. In order to change anything you must be clear about your options—steadfast and persistent.”  I love this quote from Maria Gamb, best-selling author of Healing the Corporate World.  

In her recent article in Forbes, Maria directly rebuts Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella’s comment “that women should trust karma instead of asking for pay raises.”  Although she notes he apologized for his comment, she aptly points out he may just have verbalized what many men in leadership positions silently hold true.

Maria gives statistics that completely shocked me a few years ago when I learned about them at Harvard Business School’s W-50 ceremony (celebrating 50 years since women were able to attend my alma mater). Yet, once she states the facts of our current position, Maria quickly turns the conversation to what you can do to get paid equally to your male counterparts.

This is so important it needs to be said again, and again until women truly get it.  Yes, men still, in this day and age, often believe women should not speak out and ask for a raise, or somehow might not need the training from some coveted project because in the long run they are going to leave to have babies.  But more importantly, YOU and only you control your place in these statistics of women getting paid lower than men.  You have to ask.

One of my fellow Harvard alumna, Sheryl Sandberg, has been speaking out about this in her book, Lean In.  She told us at the women’s reunion that at Google and Facebook she finds that men ask for raises and promotions in staggering quantities more than women.  In fact, her not-so-comic story is that if she posts a job with 10 qualifications women will wait until they have those 10 qualifications plus two more before applying, while men will apply with three of four of the qualifications and sell her that they can learn the rest on the job.  THEY ARE NOT AFRAID TO ASK FOR WHAT THEY WANT AND BELIEVE THEY ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE JOB–REGARDLESS OF THE “FACTS.”

So what is it you wish someone would acknowledge you for?  Go tell them about you, rather than wait for them to notice.  Go check out the going pay for your job description at Glassdoor,  Salary or Payscale and then ask for a raise if you are being paid less than you are worth.  (Make sure you update your job description to everything you do, not just your title, before you compare.)

Women, we are settling — you and I.  It isn’t someone elses fault any more.  It is time we see ourselves as amazing and then become willing to sing our own praise and ask for what we are worth.

Here are some great exercises to help you start to notice and feel your own value.

First, begin to journal all the things you are good at and all the things you have accomplished in your life.  You may only have a few things you can think of at first; however, if you do this everyday for a month you will start to remember all sorts of things you can be proud of.  Make these two different lists — one about your skills and one about your accomplishments.  When you remember something you accomplished, like a product launch or fund raising event, then also notice what skills you had that helped you be successful.  Add them to your skills list, even if they are already there note them again with the nuance of that project in mind.  Remember to include skills like the ability to juggle conflicting priorities (work, grocery shopping, kids soccer practice, and a business meeting), or maybe to orchestrate amazing events like last Thanksgiving dinner, or being able to run your family’s needs on a tight budget without your family feeling poor.  Really open your sites to all you do.

The second exercise is read your list daily to really change the inner dialogue from one of self-criticism to one of praise.

Lastly, after you have improved your sense of self worth, draft a new resume highlighting all the various skills you possess, projects you have successfully completed, and responsibilities you have or have had.

I bet there are a lot of things you could do with a skill set like the one you have and now see more clearly!  From this place of seeing your own value, you can now start to dream BIG about the things you might want to do next.

If you are looking for other support in becoming more confident in your ability to do great things check out my free downloadable excerpt from my upcoming book, Be A Female Millionaire, or listen to my Feminine Balance audio series — especially the one on embodying your power.

Adapting Our Skills Is Our Strength! Use It!

Resilience, adaptable leadership and goal-driven are skills three women veterans in this Forbes article by Geri Stengel translated from military duty to entrepreneurship.  These are skills you too can bring to your business and evoke in those you work with.

I love how each of these women took their existing strengths in the military and found how well they translated into the business world — even though thet seem miles apart.  Unfortunately, most women neglect to recognize their own strengths, let alone capitalize on them.

I remember hearing a humorous story about a husband and wife bantering over dinner about who had the harder job.  The husband thought his wife, who stayed at home, was not “working” — as so many people do.  (I even caught myself saying the other day when I stopped working, referring to when I stayed home to raise my children!)  To settle the matter, they decided to trade jobs for a week.

As you might guess,  the story ends with the wife competently managing the family business and the husband exhausted, overwhelmed, and begging to trade back before the time was over.  It is a funny story about women being able to juggle schedules, manage ten things at once, deal with daily crisis, manage a tight budget, make quick decisions, and still have a delicious dinner on the table at the end of the day.

The real message behind the humor though is not being heard by most women.  What are all the skills you already possess?  What talents have you demonstrated mastery of in your personal, volunteer and work life?  You have a well of untapped potential.  Stop sitting on it and start using it.  Believe in your skills, even if they were not performed at the head of a Fortune 500 company.  List them, know them, be willing to brag about them.

One of the most poignant parts of this Forbes article was the end.  Geri points out that each of the three women veterans she interviewed ALL got outside funding for the businesses they started.  This is dramatically different from the norm, where women tend to avoid asking for money and perhaps do not feel qualified to get it.

You are qualified for so much more than you give yourself credit.  What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?  What would you consider doing if you did not have to ask someone else for money to get started?  Consider the possibility of doing it anyway!  The people who backed these three women entrepreneurs got their money back and a whole lot more.  Maybe you not asking for money is not only holding you back, perhaps it is actually preventing others from getting rich because of the value you will provide when you learn to believe in YOU!

What Comes Naturally?

I love the title of Jane Pauley’s book Your Life Calling: Reimagining the Rest of Your Life.  The title sums up my mission–helping you realize that your life can be different and the only way to make it so is to begin imagining it exactly how you choose.  If you do not start to write the script, you will remain an extra in your own life!

Many of us women are trying so hard to be what we think other people need in order to find success.  And even if we are not looking outside for validation of our own worth, we are rarely following our heart when it comes to making money.  Jane Pauley, writing about negotiating stated, “We often think that what comes naturally isn’t of value.”

Yet, in my experience what comes naturally usually is exactly what creates the most value. Even in traditional business roles where women often put forth more masculine traits to become successful, feminine traits that might come more naturally are exactly what’s needed.

In fact, Jane Pauly (who has interviewed heads of state and negotiated big deals) elaborates, “leadership skills–being empathetic and collaborative, listening, avoiding conflict–that are in a woman’s negotiation toolkit, should not be discounted.  We need to identify them as strengths so that we can leverage them.”  But instead, we downplay these feminine qualities attempting to prove our ability to push through, be decisive and drive hard bargains because we fear being seen as weak.

Tonight before bed, make a list of your strengths, even the ones you think others might not value–especially in your workplace.  What comes naturally to you?  What do you make look easy, and cannot figure out why others find it hard to do?  Maybe these are traits or skills you only let shine outside of the workplace.  There is no right or wrong answers — just self exploration about what comes easy for you and what does not.  Start to get to know yourself, your strengths and natural abilities.

If you do this often enough you will start to learn what things you are truly good at — not the things you push to be good at.  These things also might make you happier than those you have to prove you can… (fill in the blank).  And what if, just what if you could make more money doing a job that valued what comes easy for you than you make now doing what you think people want of you?  Just what if???

Stay-At-Home-Mom vs Career Woman

Choosing to work or stay at home can be a tough decision for women.  The original thoughts of feminism that we could do both and have it all, have become worn thin by the many women who tried the super mom/career woman track and ended up feeling burned out in both arenas.

Yet, most women still want to add value to the world outside of the tremendous value they are contributing by raising amazing children.  How do we find the answer?

I love how Sara Gottfried, M.D. puts it,”When we give birth, the bonding hormone oxytocin starts flowing. Maybe that makes women more discerning about the type of work we’re willing to perform, given the competition for our time when kids come into the picture.”

Rather than an either or decision of career verses motherhood, or the over-achieving attempt at both — perhaps our answer lies in this discernment Dr. Sara speaks of.  If the last 50 years were spent proving we could “make the grade” and were capable of many of the jobs previously denied women; perhaps the next movement will be in women designing the work life that feeds our soul AND gives us the flexibility to be truly present with our children and family.  Imagine the role model we’d become for our children when they see their mothers pursuing things that are adding value to our world, while at the same time we are happy and engaged in their lives.

Imagine what your life would look like if you created a job you truly loved and had time to deeply enjoy your family.  How would you create it?  What things might you do if your goal was to add value to the world and not earn a paycheck?  Play with it for a bit; you might be surprised that there is a way to do it and earn good money.

What things would you do with your family if you had more freedom? Fantasize yourself doing them.  Maybe there are ways of rethinking your schedule that will allow for more of this joy in your daily life –not by working later when the kids go to bed and waking exhausted each day!

Unless you are willing to take the time to visualize how you would genuinely enjoy your life, you will continue to create what you are creating today.  So even if my questions seem absurd in light of the bills you have to pay, the commitment you have to your job, the requirements you have to your children’s school and extra-curricular activities and even your relationship with your mate — the future will never arrive unless you start to envision your ideal situation and take little steps towards it.

So just let yourself start to daydream all the possibilities; no matter how impossible they appear.  Find a paper and pen right now and begin to write down any and all ideas.  Let your ideas flow.  Don’t ask how you could get there; simply write down anything about your life you would love to see.

Some people find it easier to see what is wrong than to visualize what they want.  If you feel blocked, first write down what frustrates you about your current life.  Then take another piece of paper and write the exact opposite of that.  How would it look, what would be different if this specific problem did not exist?  Be as creative and detailed as you can about what it would look like if it was as good as it could get.  Burn the one you don’t like and read the one you do like each day.  You will be pleasantly surprised at how ideas and opportunities begin to flow naturally into your life to help make this new dream a reality if you put your attention on it.

 

Election Day

Today is Election Day. What values do you want to see our country adhere to through the people we elect? How much thought have you given to your role in our country’s future? Does it feel dismal and unchangeable? Or full of hope and possibilities?

Sunday, Oprah interviewed Marianne Williamson (one of my long time spiritual teachers) on the state of elections, our country and role in shaping the future. While it’s not your typical political discussion, you might want to watch it before going to the polls today.

Marianne placed a huge responsibility on American women to become the force that will change the landscape of our country to one of prosperity and generosity. And it’s a challenge I can’t help but support!

For the last 50 years, we have worked for our individual rights as women. Although we still have a ways to go in that area, I believe more positive change will occur individually if we start to take a collective responsibility – as women — for the world around us.

Marianne cited that 17,000 children go hungry in our country every day, and asked what if American women together took the stand! We have more women past child bearing years today with more economic resources and freedom than ever before in our known human history. So we can make a difference!

In one part of the interview, Marianne suggested to Oprah that once past childbearing/rearing years women develop a new womb (meant to give birth to a new kind of world). Takes the same energy and creativity as birthing a child, it is our next calling as modern women who now have this third act of life never before experienced on a wide scale. “If we are going to be conscious about the great Act 3, we don’t want it to be an imitation of Act 2,” suggested Marianne.

There were so many great messages for women in this video. I highly recommend you watch it.

I leave you with a final quote that I plan to put on my refrigerator.

“There comes a time when if there is something you thought you might do someday…you might want to think about doing it!”

What have you wanted to do?

When will you start?

What changes would you like to see in the world?

How can you start making them a reality?

What other women are making a difference?

How can you support them?

Who will you vote for today to make a difference?