Category Archives: Personal Leadership

5 Ways to Increase Abundance

So often do we wait to get something before we give. It is an unconscious hold-back to ensure there is something in the pot before we offer it to someone. However, as in most life lessons- (ironically), the pot gets filled when we offer it. Here are 5 ways to increase abundance in your life.

I love what Judith Orloff, M.D. says about it in her article, The Power of Random Acts of Kindness, in Forbes’ Women’s Media.

We are not without influence!

Even small acts of generosity return great rewards just by how they make us feel. How we feel affects EVERYTHING including…

How we act
What we think about
Our effectiveness
Our emotional resilience
Our energy
Our compassion and empathy
Did I mention EVERYTHING?!

We have a beautiful tree native to Central Texas called the redbud tree. They are small trees, sometimes scraggly–but in early spring, they always burst forth with deep fuchsia pink blossoms that take your breath away. You will find them on the roadside, hanging over fence lines, across creek beds and in random hillsides. Each one is so colorful that they become a spectacular show by themselves.

These redbud trees make their spring debut with flair — whether we have a hard winter or a soft one, a rainy spring or a dry one. They show up for life regardless if things show up for them!

Here are a five suggestions for how you can show up in your life with more enthusiasm and generosity that are easy:

Compliment at least one person every day
Do one nice thing for someone every day. (i.e. buy their lunch, bring them flowers, do their chore, etc.)
Send someone a thank you note (out of the blue) for something they did for you — maybe years ago, that meant a lot to you
Send 5 people a text right now telling them what you appreciate about them
Donate your time to a cause you feel inspired by

The amazing part of giving is you will be the one to gain the most from it! Do you have abundance secrets to share, I would love to hear them!

Springing into Life for Success

Are you springing into life?

The past month I have been surrounded by millions of wildflowers on my land and the surrounding country roads — the air is actually perfumed with the gentle aroma of all these flowers. With gentle temperatures outside, I have been able to work with my windows wide open, inspired by breezes and songbirds.

Each spring, life puts forth such a magnificent show of new energy that it viscerally changes how I feel. Does it affect you that way, too?

I am happier, more motivated and inspired to create things myself.

I have also noticed that people have this same effect on each other.

When I am around someone who is on fire with life, creating with gusto some new venture, it inspires me to become more active on my own goals.

Are you working on a BIG goal?

If not, consider surrounding yourself with people who help you move from your own internal winter to “springing into life!” And if you are on fire with inspiration for what you are doing — THANK YOU! You are, perhaps unknowingly, infusing others with a spring-like energy that is worth more than you realize, I welcome you to share it with us.

Interviews with Influential Women: Diane Craig

Resilient. Powerful. Inspiring. Those are just a few words that I’d use to describe President and Founder of Corporate Class Inc. Diane Craig.

Featured in this installment of Interviews with Influential Women, Diane and I discuss just how she achieved monumental success for herself and her company amid constant personal tragedy.

In 200 words or less, please give my readers a short background on your personal journey that brought you to today.

One day, I was driving, and I saw a sign that read: “It took 20 years for this man to become an overnight success.”

I wish it had read 10 years, because I guess I took it literally. For the next 20 years, I was compelled to relentlessly pursue my dream and goal of growing my business.

I always had a passion for meeting people with great presence. After graduating from my fashion design program and teaching Haute Couture, I became an image consultant in our nation’s capital, Ottawa. In the 90’s, my claim to fame was working with Canadian political leaders. Not long after, I realized that appearance was only a part of what presence is all about. Content is still King/Queen.

I began studying what it meant to bring presence to each speech, conversation or room. In 2007, I launched my Executive Presence System, and it is now internationally recognized—including a licensing program launched internationally 2 years ago.

Who are your top 3 female role models, and what about each inspires you?

Christine Lagarde: As one of Europe’s most influential ambassadors in the world of international finance, she exudes Executive Presence. She is intelligent, well spoken, worldly, sophisticated and an inspiration to many women who believe reaching the top in a male dominated industry is nearly impossible.

Carolyn Wilkins: According to The Wall Street Journal, she is today’s most influential woman in Canada’s banking industry, not to mention the first woman to grace our currency. When I met Carolyn in 2010, she shared her aspirations with me, and we both agree that she exceeded them! She was able to reach this success, while remaining humble and kind.

Peggy McColl: She is a long-time friend and fearless entrepreneur. Over the years, she has overcome so many obstacles. The drive and passion put into what she believes in has always been an inspiration to me.

What challenge (s) did you face & overcome to get to where you are?

There were professional challenges but none as difficult as the personal ones. A year after I started my business, my husband was diagnosed with cancer and died 3 months later. We had been married 17 years. I was now a grieving single parent of two wonderful children, Kenny 12 and Sandrine 7. Four years later, my beautiful little girl Sandrine, at the age of 11, was killed in a school bus accident.

Overcoming those tragedies and finding the motivation to continue facing the challenges of owning my own business seemed insurmountable at times. My husband and daughter became my inspiration for forging ahead, and my son became my motivation. I wanted to provide financially and be a role model for him.

What are the 3 most important things you do (or did) that contribute to your success?

Seeing the glass half full
Taking risks
Believing in myself

What are the 3 most important things women need to do or consider when charting their next chapter of life, whenever that may be for them?

Make time for yourself (yes, be selfish – go to the gym, frequent the spa, visit your friends)
Continue learning (keep growing your professional and personal development activities)
Remain current and relevant

Diane Craig is the corporate world’s choice for Executive Presence Training.

As President and Founder of Corporate Class Inc., Diane’s ongoing 30-year career mentoring North America’s business professionals spans Fortune 500 companies, multinationals and numerous educational institutions.

She maintains an intensive schedule of presentations and is a frequent speaker at national business meetings and conferences. The media seek out Diane’s perspectives on social, political and business etiquette — from conduct issues and appropriate attire to body language interpretation. She is frequently quoted in The Globe and Mail and National Post and appears regularly on CBC and CTV.

Diane is dedicated to community service. She serves as a Board Member for the Trillium Gift of Life Network, the provincial organization responsible for organ and tissue donation and transplantation. Diane is on the Board of Directors at Intriciti, an organization committed to the integration of faith and business.

Frequently heralded for her inspirational role in leadership, Diane is the recipient of many awards including the Governor General of Canada Meritorious Service Medal; Canadian Living Magazine and Avon Canada’s Women of Inspiration Award; Toastmaster International’s Communication and Leadership Award.

Success Comes at the Pace of One Step at a Time

When you find yourself in extremely difficult situations, take it one step at a time. I love the image Joe De Sena gives of running — just to the next telephone pole, not the total distance.

“The way to get through anything mentally painful is to take it a little at a time. The mind can’t handle dealing with a massive iceberg of pain in front of it, but it can deal with short nuggets that will come to an end. So instead of thinking, Ugh, I’ve got twenty-four miles to go, focus on making it to the next telephone pole in the distance…the ability to compartmentalize pain into these small bite sizes is key.” ~ Joe De Sena from Spartan Up!

When coaching grief groups, I’m often surrounded by people whose lives have just been shaken to the core — the loss of a lifelong partner, the death of a parent, or even a child. At these times, it feels like the very foundation has dropped out, and they are navigating the world with no floors or ground. I cannot take away their pain, I can only help them navigate the waters until the waves become less violent. At those times, one of the best remedies is to not try to visualize life in total — which feels hopeless and overwhelming — but to visualize getting through the current day, or even hour.

Whatever in your life is stopping you in your tracks — even if it is just today’s work — can be compartmentalized to it’s smaller components and tackled one at a time.

If you find yourself not taking action because the task feels too big, or the result too risky — try this technique. Because moving forward, even one small step, will help you improve your outlook and your results.

Want to change the game? Change the model.

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” ~Buckminster Fuller

I love this quote because it reminds me to avoid the way I used to approach injustices—as if I could convince, demand or cajole the “truth” of my perspective. Whether with my children, my partners, or at my work–the raw fact is other people have different “truths.” On top of that, it seems the more I fought, the less I got. Maybe you’ve had some of these experiences, too?

Asking the kids to do the dishes…again
Fighting with a spouse about them always assuming you’re available to watch the children when they make plans
Feeling passed over for a promotion that you felt was yours

Sometimes, these situations feel futile and draining. You might ask how can you build a new model for things like doing dishes? It is possible, but you have to step back from the problem and look at it from a wider view. Here is an example:

One year, I took the kids to a paint-your-own-ceramic outing. Each of us painted our own plate, bowl and cup. We had a blast. The kids were enthralled at the idea of having their own personally painted dishes. When the day came to bring the beautiful glazed dinnerware home, we moved our regular dishes to an inconvenient location and put our masterpieces in their place.

After meals when it finally came time to do dishes, they were now forced to see that their dish was dirty and understand theirs had to be cleaned before they could eat again. I no longer had to beg, plead, or threaten for anyone to do their dishes! I no longer had to referee arguments over who’s turn it was or who’s mess it was. I changed the model and the problems I was seeing under the old model evaporated.

The same is true for opportunities women have (or don’t have) in business, politics or any other field. Statistics are shockingly low for women in positions of power and even lower for funding women entrepreneurs verses their male counterparts.

Should we fight this injustice?

I suggest we take Buckminster Fuller’s advice and change the model. As important as it will be to change unconscious and conscious cultural biases, it is equally or more important for women with resources to start helping other women. This could be resources of time, money or position.

When Ella Fitzgerald could not get into a big Hollywood club early in her career, Marilyn Monroe told the club she would attend every show and bring the press. The club agreed, and Ella Fitzgerald became one of the best knows female singers in the world. Marilyn used her position in the entertainment world and her time to help another woman.

According to Business Insider, women over 50 control $15 trillion in capital. When these women start to become angel investors supporting women entrepreneurs, it will completely change the game of early stage investment.

You may not have vast amounts of money or even time. But that does not mean you cannot make a difference and help change the existing model of business, politics, education or any other field you are passionate about. Think about it like this:

85% of purchases in the U.S. are made by women
Women make 80% of healthcare decisions
40% of all American private businesses are owned by women

Yet, 91% of women say they do not think advertisers understand them. 50% of products marketed to men are typically bought by women.

You vote at the polls, with your credit cards and cash, and even where you send your children to school. Start to investigate the possibilities of where you can put your money, voice and time behind a woman. Because if 50% of the population started to move our support to other women–rather than waiting for men to, the existing model will become obsolete.

Are You Planning for the Worst?

I have spent years avoiding what I do not want. Avoiding the bad. Do you know that feeling?

I scan my environment continually. I notice other people’s moods, find ways to improve them, review business results, quickly change any headed the wrong way, assess my calendar and adjust to ensure there are no conflicts with important people and events. I am good at anticipating other people’s needs or problems before they articulate them, short circuiting problems before they arise with my family, employees, and friends.

In some ways, it looks like I am extremely effective because of this knack at having a keen radar for my world and its direction. If you have this tendency to be exo-centric (a new word I made up in contrast to eco-centric) then you understand what I mean. Don’t get me wrong, my basic ability to be empathetic and inspire people around me is great (as is my ability to turn around businesses and keep a packed calendar that still works). This gets me a lot of kuddos in the world.

But it is exhausting AND keeps me focused on what can go wrong! The underlying motivating force has my world on tilt and not near as fun as it could be.

What I am noticing is the energy behind this “strength” of mine is a fear that something is about to go wrong and that I need to ensure it doesn’t.

Ouch! That is not the mental attitude I want to live my life from. And with all the positive reinforcement I get from family, friends and co-workers for keeping life smooth for them and me, no wonder it took me so long to notice this.

I think I have spent most of my life avoiding “catastrophe.” I don’t think it would be useful to just affirm I am not going to do it anymore starting today, but I do want to change it.

So my plan is to actively notice what is going well. It may not immediately stop these other thoughts, but over time with practice I will be training my mind to build on the good instead of avoid the bad.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this? Are you an avoid-er of problems? What will you do to move your radar detection mechanism away from this tendency?

Are you focused?

What would it take to actually achieve those goals you set at the beginning of the year?

Are you focused; or are you plagued with guilt over still carrying those extra pounds or not maintaining the original vigor you had to accomplish a specific career or relationship goal?

In a previous blog, I talked about how our subconscious mind has a set point, that brings us back to a pre-programmed belief about ourselves (whether it is in our weight, work or our relationships).

For most of us, those unconscious beliefs keep us stuck where we don’t want to be instead of heading where we’ve stated we want to go.

But there are ways to use this same mechanism to get what we do want, too.

The four steps for moving from a negative set point to a positive one are:

Move your attention from what you do not want to what you do.
Start to see yourself as having what you do want.
Expect the good you want; not the bad you do not.
Look for what is already good and be grateful for it.

I remember a friend telling a story about his first motorcycle ride in the Colorado mountains. Although an experienced rider, he said he was overly nervous and driving slower than the friend he was riding with. Finally, his friend pulled off the road at a overlook to talk. When they had both pulled over his friend looked him in the eye and said, “You will go off the edge if you keep looking at it. You have to look at where you want to go. It is the only way to drive these mountains safely.”

It is the same lesson in life as on that mountain road — if you keep looking where you don’t want to go, that is where you will end up. I notice it in every aspect of my life.

I remember hearing about this same concept in parenting classes years ago. My kids would promise to help with dishes or do some chore. I would notice that they didn’t do it. We would fight. They would do it reluctantly and then the cycle would start all over again. But when I would follow the recommendations to notice and thank them when they did do what I wanted, rather than focus on when they did not, I truly got more and more of what I wanted.

So whatever the goal — no matter how guilty you feel that you haven’t yet achieved it — start training your mind to look at the goal, not your current lack of it.

It really is simply a habit, the way we look at things. Like any habit, they become habits through repetition. So to change it we need to repeatedly change our view. I have been doing this for a year and by repeatedly moving my attention to my goal, and off my current results, I have noticed I am changing my set point. My rebound to old patterns is happening less and less.

It took years to set these old patterns of noticing what is wrong, so be persistent at reinforcing the new place you want to be.

I like to write my goal each morning as if it has already occurred. You might prefer recording yours, so you can listen to yourself saying it while driving. Either way, find ways to remind yourself to visualize your goal. And then when you notice you are thinking about your current result, remember the mountain road and readjust where you are looking!

Pick one or two things you have been trying to change and make a conscious effort to feed your mind the positive pictures and feelings of having already achieved it.

Are you in your own way?

Do you wish things in your life were better? Different? Are you are getting in your own way?

I think everyone has things they want to see improve–whether in their career, relationships or health. Yet, I have noticed that these changes are slow and laborious, if they happen at all.

Does it feel that way to you? You go on a diet and the weight comes off slowly, but it comes right back. You go to counseling with your partner and things change for a while but then you find yourselves back in old patterns. Maybe you got a promotion at work a few years back but now feel stalled in this position.

I have learned a few things lately that can change this trajectory–or lack of one–for you and me. These tips can move you from slow and steady progress, with numerous setbacks, to quantum leaps towards the life you desire!

Did you know that our minds operate the same way a rocket gets to the moon or a plane on auto pilot gets back on course? It is through thousands of small adjustments that the rocket ship arrives at the moon, exactly on course–slightly off course the whole trip (always correcting.

Your mind works exactly the same way, only sometimes the course you keep resetting to is exactly the one you are trying to move off of.

Have you ever noticed someone who is finally making big improvements in their lives and then they sabotage themselves? You probably wonder why they would do that and comment what a shame it is that they did. It is because the good they were creating was not aligned to their internal belief about who they are or what they deserve, so their subconscious mind does what it takes to get them “back on course.”

It is called cybernetics, and Maxwell Maltz wrote a great book about it in the 1960s called “Psycho-Cybernetics” that describes this human tendency in detail. It is a thought provoking book, and if you haven’t read it you should.

The bigger question in your mind is probably how do you change your subconscious mind’s set point, so you can lose the weight, advance in your career or permanently improve your relationship.

It is really quite simple. There are three steps:

Move your attention from what you do not want to what you do.
Start to see yourself as having what you do want.
Expect the good you want; not the bad you do not.
Look for what is already good and be grateful for it.

We are going to look at these individually over the next few weeks. I will bring you tips and exercises to help you do each one because by changing your internal cybernetic mechanism you will be able to shift your life dramatically in the direction of your desires.

Are you ready to take a quantum leap?

I want to leave you with a quote from another fantastic book called You Squared (it actually is You with the 2 up high in the mathematical position of square which I simply cannot replicate in WordPress.)

The quantum leap is something you’ve been keeping from happening. It’s not something you have to struggle to make happen. You don’t really force it into existence…you just let it occur. The key is not to get in the way!

Here’s to getting out of our own way! I would love to here how it goes for you here or on my facebook page.

What is beneath your snow storm?

Do you feel covered over in a blanket of to-do’s, as if you’ve been buried in a snow storm? Maybe something big has happened that was unexpected and unpleasant; leaving you feeling tumbled by an avalanche.

Somewhere in that tall drift of heavy snow is a hidden gem; something totally beautiful.

As you remove the snow (read obstacles) from your path, take your attention off the weight of the snow in your shovel and the pain in your shoulders and view your surroundings.

Take a few deep breaths and think of something you are grateful for. Then with your attention off the obstacles in your life, look around from a wider perspective.

You will soon notice the little blessings and momentary beauty like this statue of Quan Yin in my friend’s yard one recent morning. Quan Yin’s serene morning reflection in her cloak of snow is no doubt gone today. However, she offered her blessing at the moment of this picture.

Widen your vista and your own blessings will appear. They are there to lighten your load and give you momentum that no amount of force or attention to your problems can bring.

One Billion Rising

Did you know that one out of every three women will be beaten or raped in her lifetime? That is one billion women!

This was a statistic that both knocked me off my feet and brought tears to my eyes. I am a mother of three beautiful, vibrant young women and that statistic hits much too close to my heart.

This is not a statistic you can ignore and think it is someone else’s problem (or only happens in impoverished areas or countries).

I love what Eve Ensler is doing about it. She has started a movement called One Billion Rising and they are working to end violence against women. Each year, they ask women around the world to come together to sing and dance raising their voice in union.

Here is what she says about it:

“We rise through dance to express joy and community and celebrate the fact that we have not been defeated by this violence. We rise to show we are determined to create a new kind of consciousness – one where violence will be resisted until it is unthinkable.” – Eve Ensler

At last week’s Academy Awards, President Obama, in his recorded message, asked those in the entertaining arts to help end violence against women and girls through their power over our cultural view of what is normal.

Changing this is a group activity. Only when we stand together can we actually change this horrific statistic. A woman individually can attempt to remove herself from violence, but women collectively can create a power that changes it permanently. Men raised by strong women–who are not abused–are less likely to abuse. Girls raised by compassionate men–who do not abuse–are less likely to get into an abusive relationship.

Look around your own community. Are there groups you can help? Are there programs in your schools to help empower the girls? What might you do that could make a difference? Every act helps. Every step that empowers our young women and demonstrates to our young men women’s value takes us closer to the world Eve speaks of–a world where violence is unthinkable!

PART OF INFLUENTIAL WOMEN, INC.

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