Category Archives: Success

empowering women and girls

Lessons from the Always #LikeAGirl Campaign

Sometime back, I tweeted and posted on Facebook about the Always video #LikeAGirl. It became an online sensation for a while and if you missed it, watch it here for a quick lesson on empowering our daughters and each other.

Raising three daughters, I am always thrilled when messages come out that collaborate lessons I am trying to teach them, since, so often, what they see does not.

This ad reminded me of a group of women who came to my zipline canopy tour business called, Ride Like A Girl.  It was a mountain biking club and they were all women, with bumper stickers on their cars and wearing t-shirts sporting the slogan, “I ride like a girl.”

My girls were young (7,10 and 12) when these fun and wild women came through our doors. I remember one of my girls looking at me and asking, “What does that mean–ride like a girl?” I said it means they are really strong.

When I worked in corporate America I spent a great deal of energy making sure no one noticed I was “a girl.”

Don’t show your feelings. Don’t be too soft on people when they have problems. Be logical, decisive and forceful. Do not let them know you used your intuition for any decision, even if you do–find facts to prove it after you already know. And most important, laugh at the jokes about women and don’t act offended.

I learned early on that to get ahead I could not be #likeagirl. I am glad every time someone tells my son and my daughters that being like a girl is a good thing. Because if you have to hide a very basic fact of your being to be powerful; you learn to doubt every other part of yourself, too.

Are there any parts of being a woman (or a girl) that you have hidden away to be accepted or powerful? Maybe it is time to reclaim all of you.  Because when you bring all of you to your life again, you also have all that energy you’ve been using to keep these parts of you hidden.  It takes a lot of energy to not be you.

What do you do #likeagirl?

A Shifting Wind in the Portrayal of Women in the Media

For years, you and I have been fighting the forces of media that label women as sex objects to sell beer and cars or represent strong women as androgynous or overbearing. I sense a shifting wind towards the portrayal of women in the media.

Today, media–in advertising, movies, and music–is starting to portray women as both sexy and strong; quiet and bold.

It is refreshing to find images that support our young women growing into their adulthood with at least some images that propel them to be who they choose instead of who they feel compelled to be in order to be liked.

It may not be a perfect set of messages our girls are exposed to, but it is changing. When big names like Dove, Pantene, and Gillette make women’s empowerment their theme, you know the winds of change have taken force.

I have shared with you Pantene’s ad Sorry and Dove’s wonderful videos about media distortion of what women look like.

Here’s another ad from Gillete.

I like it. Whatever you think of their company, I am glad to see major female consumer products putting their large ad dollars into messages that empower our girls.

How about you, are you feeling the shifting winds?

Superwoman not to the Rescue

Does your success come at too high a price?

Or have you forsaken achieving success because you were unwilling to pay the price?

Bonnie Marcus wrote a great blog about this awhile back, that I still relate to a little more than I would like to admit.  She talks about breaking through any obstacles with strong intention, passion and energy to power through.  Does that sound a bit familiar?

Each of us has our own way of countering burnout that comes from this over-achiever mindset; whether it is meditation, yoga, running, journalling, or a night out with friends.  But in some ways these positive habits just keep us stuck in this pendulum pattern similar to enabling an addict.

Maybe the trick is not in pacifying our tired, stressed out soul with a quick fix; nor is it giving up achieving altogether.  

Perhaps we need to stop pushing through and start listening to our inner voice that tells us something is not right.  What if the struggle is more about not following the question that would help us achieve our goal with ease?

Somewhere, you and I were taught that to get anywhere,  we had to work hard ( in fact harder than everyone else if you want to be on top).  But have you ever noticed how many truly successful people are actually enjoying what they are doing, and work does not appear to be a struggle?

It is time to start asking if the struggle is because what we are doing is not what we really want to do, or is it a struggle over what we think we should be doing.  Maybe you spent a lot of time in this industry and think it is where your strength is even though it does not inspire you?  Or do you feel tied to what you do because of all the bills, debt or maybe your children’s college expense?

Bob Proctor recently gave me two incredibly simple, yet life changing, questions that I will now give you.

1.  How does this make you feel?

2.  Do you want to feel more of this?

If it makes you feel good and you want to feel more of it, then you are on the right track and there won’t be a need to be superwoman because you will be enjoying what you do.  If it does not, then listen to that voice and take action.  No more ploughing through because you are tough enough to do so.  You will be amazed at the energy burst you get when you start to listen to this voice.  I know I was.

And did you know there is a bonus gift to doing so?  Prosperity will find you much easier when you are pursuing your dreams. It will also find you happier than when you are struggling, pushing through, and being superwoman.

So relax and start to enjoy the journey.  Ask yourself these two simple questions regularly, about little and big things.  And see what magic starts to happen.

What do you REALLY want?

I often study Napoleon Hill’s work.

He wrote Think and Grow Rich and The 15 Laws of Success. Most of today’s self-help industry is based on Hill’s work in the early 1900’s. Although it looks like it is tied to money as a form of success, Hill really speaks to attaining your desires, whatever they may be.

One aspect of Hill’s work that I love is his revelation that of the 16,000 people he studied the successful ones (only 5% of the total people studied) all were doing what they loved!

How amazing is that?

My work, whether coaching women in business or personal areas, always starts with going deep into the question, “What do you really want?” For years, I could not even begin to answer that question, even about the most mundane things like what restaurant to go to. Why? Because my radar was tuned so strongly to my environment, keeping everyone else happy, and doing what others wanted as my means of getting ahead that I had lost touch with looking inside to find any answers—even those.

You, too, might be struggling to define what you really want. Without having a definite purpose or aim your life probably feels lackluster. Many women go through life like a ship without a rudder because they spent so many years helping others achieve their goals—spouses, children, even bosses.

If you have reached the point where you no longer have children at home, or you want to change your work but don’t quite know how then now is the time to invest in you and find your passion and create a plan to live it.

Carol Hagar and I create women’s retreats throughout the year to help women find their strength and live from it. Our beginning of the year retreats are always amazing because our focus as a culture is always keen on creating plans and making changes at this time of year.

I invite you to join us this year, as we bring together a group of kindred sisters and explore true nature of our inner wishes and find the means of expressing them in our world. We will meet near Austin, Texas, on Saturday, January 31st. If you cannot make it in person, we will have a live training online later in February. However, if you attend live you will get the added benefit of connecting with other women who can hold your intention in their hearts as you move forward into creating 2015 to be your best year thus far.