It has been a few months of turmoil for many in the U.S. as we enter this new presidential administration. Many women have felt disempowered in ways that did not seem possible in this day and age. These are times that either deflate you taking away your power or become the spark that gets you to rise up and do something you never thought possible.

Last Saturday’s march brought people from around the globe together ensuring the feminine has a voice. It was a wonderful thing to see how many husbands/boyfriends, brothers, and sons came out with the women they loved.

But many are asking the question, “Now what?”  Tabby Biddle put together a great list of resources which I have copied for you here. Whatever way you choose to respond to the current events, make sure you are being the most inspired you. Find your voice. Speak your truth. And surround yourself with other women who will support you, encourage you, and be a muse for your ideas.

3. Visit MichaelMoore.com: Daily Action. You all know Michael Moore, right? He announced at the Women’s March that he is posting daily actions on his website (under the Facebook door on his Home Page) for us to take to preserve our rights and democracy. Click here.

4. Download the Indivisible Guide. In this simple-to-use guide, former congressional staffers reveal best practices for making Congress listen. Thousands of citizens around the country are using this guide to take action. Download here.

5. Visit VoteRunLead.org. The founder and executive director, Erin Vivaldi, spoke at our post-march action party in D.C. She is a dynamo. This organization supports and trains women into positions of political leadership. Thinking of running for office? Start here.

I received this email from Claire Zammit, a woman I respect and have learned a great deal from over the years. I thought you would enjoy reading it. Take time to ask yourself if you feel strong, and if not, what might be blocking you. So many women, just like you, face challenges to living an empowered life and Claire dedicates her work to helping women achieve it.

If you want to learn more about Claires upcoming free talk after reading her letter, you can go here

Hi Amy,

It’s been awe inspiring these past weeks to feel the energy and power of our tribe of over 800 women who are participating in our Feminine Power 7-Week Essential Course for the Awakening Woman.

A little over 10 years ago, I made a startling discovery: even though millions of us are feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled—in spite of the extraordinary gains we’ve made—those feelings don’t stem from any personal failure.

We’re the most educated, powerful generation of women in history, and yet studies are showing that we’re less happy and more lonely and depressed than we’ve ever been.

In fact, over 20% of women are on antidepressants. (Statistically speaking, that’s one in five of all the women reading this email!)

We’re being heralded as saviors of the global economy…

We’re even graduating in higher numbers from college than men…

And we’re now the primary breadwinners in many American households…

Yet, six out of ten women experience overwhelming financial stress to the point where we can’t sleep at night—and not sleeping is the #1 cause of chronic illness!

We also have the freedom to create any kind of relationship we want to have in our lives…

But studies are showing that as many as 50% of us are living alone, and those who do have partners, surprisingly, are having way less sex than our grandmothers!

We’ve even been launching businesses at a higher rate than men for years now…

And yet a staggering 95% of us never break through the six-figure barrieror go on to have the larger impact we want to have or make the contributions we want to make.

What’s going on here?!

In my work with nearly 300,000 women, I’ve discovered that over the last 50 years, women have been mastering a logical, linear, masculine power system that has enabled us to create things at an unprecedented rate that are predictable and controllable.

But as useful and necessary as that power system is, it can’t create the things our hearts and souls are now are aching for, like…

•          Authentic confidence
•          Intimacy
•          Discovering our genius and calling
•          Creating a prosperous career aligned with our values
•          Deeper spiritual connection
•          Creativity, adventure and fun
•          Helping to heal and transform the world

All of these require Feminine Power to bring them forth, and I’ve made it my mission to awaken this new kind of power in every woman.

We’ve experienced so much pain, frustration and confusion in our attempts to manifest our deepest desires without the power to step into these potentials, and that has often left us feeling helpless and victimized.

The first step in awakening your Feminine Power is to change your story from one of being a victim of your circumstances to one of being a creator of your experience.

Just think about how often you’ve blamed your external circumstances for your experiences?

How many times have you said to yourself, “If only I had more money, more knowledge, a better education, a better job, could lose 10+ pounds, had more ________ (fill in the blank)…then I’d be able to live the life I was born to live!”

We’re conscious women who’ve done our personal and spiritual growth work, yet the vast majority of us still identify these external obstacles as the primary barriers to our success.

Our focus is on trying to source the power to change our lives by pushing harder, by managing and controlling the externals of our lives—our to do lists, our circumstances, trying to change other people, our schedules, our finances, our bodies and so on—only to end up feeling frustrated and powerless.

This external relationship to power is so deeply entrenched in our culture, so undistinguished and pervasive in our thinking, it’s been hard for most of us to escape it until now. Like water to a fish, it’s what we’re used to.

But what if the primary barriers to the realization of your dreams and deepest desires are internal, not external?

The truth is that your experience of life is being generated much more by what’s going on inside you than outside you.

The ways that you habitually relate to yourself, to others, and to your life circumstances are the deeper source of your experience.

So, to change your experience, you need to cultivate the power to shift what’s happening on the inside, and this is the power of the Feminine.

The true source of power you need to fulfill these deeper desires is within you, just waiting to be awakened.

I’d like to invite you to participate in a powerful exercise that has already caused an instant shift in many thousands of women.

Power Practice: From Victim to Creator

1. Make a list of all the reasons you tell yourself you can’t live your best life, realize your highest creative potentials and make your greatest contributions to the world. Those phrases you tell yourself, like “I’m too busy,” “I don’t have the money,” “I’m too old,” etc. And be honest! Write down whatever those little nagging voices in your head are telling you.

2. Next, notice how many of them are external reasons. Here is the challenge for you: just for today, let go of any and all reasons outside of yourself as to why you’re not realizing your highest potentials and making your greatest contributions.

3. When you’re ready, close your eyes and take a deep breath, allowing your awareness to drop down into your body. Move into a place of listening and receptivity, becoming aware of your deeper knowing and connecting to the part of you that holds wisdom and has access to true power.

With a sense of authentic interest and curiosity, ask yourself, “How can I be responsible for my current experience of life? What are the choices I’m making (or not making) that are contributing to my current reality?”

For example:

Do you say “yes” to things you don’t want to say “yes” to because you want to be liked?

Do you choose to not focus on money because you don’t really care that much about it?

Do you play a smaller game because you don’t want to risk rejection?

Simply be aware of what comes up for you, with no judgment.

4. Finally, ask yourself: “What’s one new choice I could make today that will give me access to a new story of my power to create a different experience?”

5. Show up as a creator and make that choice. Then notice how your sense of power increases. You are now the heroine of your life!

To your greatness,

Claire XO

Multiple times lately I have been driving to work when someone ahead of me is driving so slow I wondered if they were in driver’s training. In fact, today the person was going so slow that I started to believe it might be someone young without a driver’s license that took their parents car out without permission and had never driven on the road before!

You have probably been frustrated by slow drivers before, too. In my case, I drive on a two-lane, winding, country road with no chance of passing for 10-15 miles at a time. Luckily, I was not running late to an important meeting, so I just assumed it is a message from the universe to slow down.

Today, as I was forced to meander my way down the road, I started to explore more deeply why this keeps happening. Then it hit me. These slow drivers are not incredibly stupid and inept at driving—they are just driving slow enough to take in the beautiful scenery in front of them!

My drive is down a spectacular coastal road along the Pacific Ocean. I pass rolling hills, the ocean, Tomales Bay and Point Reyes National Seashore (one of the most visited National Parks in the U.S.).  Sailboats spot the bay. Cloudy and blue sky alike are always spectacular. By driving slowly, these people were enjoying the majesty I was ignoring.

I had to ask myself…

I remember times with my children when they were young when I was in a rush and missed being fully present with them. Times with friends when I might have listened more carefully to their stories. Or times with my Mom when she was slowing down, but I was speeding up.

What I realized is that if I am not careful, my whole life could be a ‘drive-by.’ So today I reached my destination grateful for the slow driver who gave me this reminder because tonight I am much less inclined to miss the moments of my life.

What about you? Are you stopping to smell the roses, or are you driving too fast to notice they bloomed?

Around the world, many people will soon celebrate their nation’s independence or revolution from oppression—July 4th in the United States, July 14th in France, July 28th in Peru, August 15th in India, August 17th in Indonesia, August 24th in Ukraine, and September 16th in Mexico. Modern life glorifies independence and for good reason—so many people have endured great hardship to win their freedoms.

As I look at my life, I realize I, too, went from dependence as a child to independence as an adult. At some point, I moved on to even from independence to a journey of inter-dependence.

In my early 20’s it almost felt like a fight for my independence—sometimes fighting as much with myself as anyone else—as I struggled between earning enough money to pay rent and spending it on having fun, wrestled with the thrill of making my own decisions against my fear of failure, and often wondered when I would really feel the freedom I sought. It was a challenging and exhilarating time.

Later, after I married and had children my “hard won” sense of freedom was challenged in so many ways. Like many women, I struggled to balance my desires with my family’s needs, my desire for a meaningful career with my desire to be with my children, and my personal preferences with those of my partners. It stretched me in ways I didn’t think I could handle and often my relationships won, leaving me feeling a bit deflated.

Sometime during this period I began to find a new way of living that did not pit my needs against the relationships I valued. It began subtly, and I am still mastering what I call the dance of inter–dependence. It is a magical dance that began by becoming curious about what I enjoy—the things that really give me joy and help me feel good about myself.

Once I became a student of me, I then began weaving my world to include more and more of the people, places and events that fed me. I don’t always succeed at it, but when I focus on filling my needs and focus less on making sure everyone else is happy I get closer. Doing so also seems to give everyone else around me the freedom to connect with their own needs instead of making them unhappy with me, as I feared.

This process of becoming interdependent also means I am learning not to make people and things wrong that don’t fit my desires. They can be who and what they are. I also no longer need to feel obligated to invest my time and energy there.

So my question to you is: are you dependent, independent or interdependent—and how do you want to be?

I read this on Facebook recently and although long I wanted to share it with you. It is thought provoking–as it appears intended by the author Mia Morgan–and seems worth considering as my friends in the United States celebrate Independence Day this weekend. What has shaped what you believe?

When I was 5, I sat on the edge of my chair with my legs spread. I felt an itch between them, so I reached down to scratch, but my grandma grabbed my wrist to stop me and hissed: “Girls don’t do that!” I asked her why, because I had seen my father doing it, I had seen all the boys in primary school doing it, too. And it itched and I wanted to scratch it. Her answer was: “It’s just how it is. Girls don’t do that. Also, don’t sit there with your legs spread like that. Girls don’t do that, either.”

When I was 6, I spent a day on the beach with my family. I was excited about the new bikini my mum got me, but confused as to why she asked me to keep the top on when I went for a swim. She hadn’t made me wear it the years before, but suddenly, she was very fussy about it. “Look, I’ve got one on, too.”, she said to me. And I thought I understood: Women had to cover their breasts, because they were bigger than mens’. But I wasn’t a woman. I was a child. Later, I overheard a talk she had with my dad. “I don’t want old men to stare at her.”, she whispered. I interrupted them and asked her why she thought old men would look at me. Her answer was: “It’s just how it is. It’s because you’re a girl. And men do that.”

When I was 9, I got in a fight with my best friend. I went home and complained about it to my grandma, who lived with us. She told me I should have seen it coming. “That’s how girls are.”, she said. “A friendship between girls is always also a competition. Girls are jealous, manipulative and backstabbing. You can’t trust them.” But I had never fought with my best friend before and I knew we’d forgive and forget the next day, anyway. So, I asked my grandma why, and her answer was: “It’s just how it is. Catfights will happen. It’s normal. That’s how girls are.”

When I was 13, I fell in love with a boy from the neighbourhood. I couldn’t hide my excitement. He was on my mind all the time and I caught myself wishing we were together, so I could hold his hand and kiss him, too. I wanted to meet him, get to know him better, and I told my dad about my plan of asking him out. “Don’t do that.”, my dad said. “It’s not appropriate for a girl to ask a boy out.” Though I partly agreed, since I had never seen a woman proposing to the man in a movie, or read about a girl kissing her crush first, I still didn’t understand what would be so bad about being an exception, so I asked my dad why I had to wait for a boy to show interest in me in order to be allowed to openly requite it. His answer was: “It’s just how it is, darling. The man makes the first move. It’s always been this way. Boys like to conquer, and girls love being chased.”

When I was 17, I was part of a large group of friends. There was a boy who fancied me. I didn’t like him back, but I wasn’t used to anyone crushing on me, so I enjoyed the attention. He’d always tell me I was special. One of a kind. Different. “You’re not like other girls.”, he said. “You’re not a bitch. You’re funny, laid back, intelligent. You don’t just care about your nails or your hair. You get my sense of humour. You’re not like most girls. You’re my best guy friend. But with tits.” I was flattered in the beginning, but soon, I started to wonder if his compliments were any at all. I began to feel disgusted with him. I didn’t want to be his best guy friend with tits. So I asked him what’s so good about a girl like me, a girl unlike what he called a typical one, and his answer was: “That’s easy to explain. A pretty model type of girl is good enough to jack off to, but in the end, a guy wants some drama free pussy. You’re an exception. The majority of girls is superficial and slutty. The kind of girl you fuck, but dump when you’re ready to settle down. Or they’re just plain boring and prude. This sounds harsh, but it’s just how it is.”

When I was 19, there was a boy I regularly had sex with. It was nice. Not the breathtaking kind of passionate, ecstatic fucking I had dreamed of; maybe we lacked chemistry, maybe it would have been nicer if we had been in love; but I was alright with it. I adapted, obeyed and swallowed. Of course I did. In the beginning, he really put an effort in giving me what I gave him. He really tried. But his attempts at putting his tongue to good work quickly faded into halfheartedly rubbing me dry and at some point, he said: “I’m giving up.” I asked him why. His answer was: “It’s so hard to get a girl off. You women need ages to cum. It’s so exhausting.” I laughed and told him I needed about two minutes when I did it on my own. “Then stick to that.”, he said. “I’ve got a cramp in my wrist. Women are so complicated. It’s just how it is. I’m sorry.”

I am 20 now, and I’ve come to realize that my female identity has been shaped by a biased, hypocritical excuse based on ridiculous gender roles: “It’s just how it is.” All my life, I have asked them why, and all they said was “It’s just how it is.” And it didn’t matter whether I’ve asked men or women. Internalized misogyny is just as harmful. There were as many women as men who said: “It’s just how it is.” But that is not the answer I wanted. Not the answer I needed. These few words don’t fucking answer the countless questions concerning my gender identity.

Why can’t I sit with my legs spread? What’s so shameful about what I keep between them? Why must I cover my breasts? Why am I being sexualized long before I’m even told when sex is? Why am I being taught to mistrust other girls? Why do I have to compete with other girls? Why am I only a good girl when I’m not like most girls? Why do I have to keep quiet about the way I feel? Why am I not allowed to show affection like men do? Can’t I conquer a boy’s heart, too? Why must love be about conquering, anyway? What if I don’t like being chased? What if it scares me? Why do boys scare me, anyway? Why do you make me feel inferior to them? And why do I have to like a boy in order to be liked? Why am I being shamed for being a “slut”, them shamed for being “prude”? Why am I expected to adapt, obey and swallow without praise when boys who return the favour are considered grateful, dedicated lovers, heroes, almost ,because to the majority of them, it’s not fucking understood that if I make them cum, they should make me cum, too? Why am I exhausting to be with? Why am I complicated?

Is it because I’m a bitch? Because I’m an oversensitive little baby? Is it because I’m a slut? A prude virgin? Is it because I’m on my period? Cause women are just crazy? Cause I am jealous, manipulative, backstabbing, competitive or any of the other countless negative traits that are immediately connected with the female identity? All summed up, is it because I’m a girl?

I’ve asked them. And they said yes.

And when I asked “But why?”, they said it again: “It’s just how it is.”

“It” is that context, is a never ending circle of resigning acceptance of the circumstance that girls are being raised to disrespect their own gender from their childhood on. I was, and am, expected to accept the fact that being female automatically makes me inferior, and that I should be thankful for being treated equally, because that’s not the standard. I was, and am, expected to appreciate and take it as a compliment when people tell me that I’m not like other women. Because I was, and am, expected to look down on women even though I am a woman myself. But I refuse. I refuse to adapt, obey and swallow. I refuse to accept that “it’s just how it is”. I refuse to take this as an answer, and I will not stop asking why. I won’t ever stop asking why. Not because I want people to give me a proper response, but because I want them to question themselves, too. I want them to start wondering. Want them to start doubting the concept of the role I’ve learned to stick to before I knew how to spell my “typically female” name. I want them to think about it, lose their sleep about it, until they ask, too: “Why?”

In order to eliminate misogynic stereotypes, we must unlearn to understand them. We must refuse to accept “It’s just how it is” as an answer, until we forget what “it” stands for. Keep asking why, until nobody knows an answer anymore. “It’s just how it is” is not an answer. Neither is “It’s cause you’re a girl”. Or “That’s how girls are”. Because girls can be everything and anything they want to be. That’s how it really is.

—Mia Morgan, I REFUSE! A rant on how my female identity has been shaped by excuses and lies

This was published on https://www.facebook.com/the.artidote/?fref=photo

Do you ever wonder how you can make the things you wish for become reality? So often, our wishes seem far removed from what happens in our day to day lives, it can be discouraging.

The steps for making wishes reality are not secrets; but, they are hard.

Being hard means few people actually ever see their wishes become real. Yet, what makes this process hard can actually also make it rewarding, exhilarating, and gives life meaning. So jump in, and see how amazing your life can be!

Here are the simple steps to make your dreams come true:

1. Make a list of all the thing you currently wish for. Really let yourself dream. Take off the shackles that say, “That isn’t possible.” or “I could never do this.” Let yourself explore and give voice to all those silent wishes.
2. Next, ask yourself what would it take to make this come true, for each wish on your list. You might not know “how” to make most of them happen, but you do have an idea of what commitment or changes you might have to make to even get started. Is the cost time, money, change? Be as specific as possible without trying to plan your actions. If your wish is something so outside your current reality then you have to assess what is in your reality that could move you that way. (For example, if you currently make $50,000 a year and your wish is to be making $1 million then maybe your “what would it take?” answer is find a better paying job that has some freedom for me to start working on my own business on the side.
3. Now comes the hard part. Once you have given an assessment of what it would take to achieve each of your wishes you have to honestly assess what you are willing to do. The reason most people do not make their dreams come true lies here–they either never assess what it will take or they are not willing to do what it takes. You see, only people who wish for something with such intensity that it drives them to action can ever achieve their dreams.
4. Let go of the wishes you are not willing to pay the price for. Click To Tweet Let’s face it, some things just are not worth the cost. If to have a certain dream job you need to move away from your family, and living near your family is one of your highest life priorities then decision made–at least for that specific job. Once you determine the cost is too high for any particular wish, cross it off your list and resolve to STOP wishing for it. Wishing for things you are unwilling to suffer for is a waste of time and worse leaves you feeling like your life is not how you want it. And when you feel life is not serving you, you then become less able to put successful effort into other endeavours. Stop this snowball before it gains speed.
5. Make a plan and start taking action toward achieving your wish every day. Very few successful people achieved their dreams on a rocket ship. They made their dreams into reality one day at a time, one step at a time. You can’t know what it will take 10 steps down the line, but you can take the first step, now.

Great minds have great purposes, others have wishes.

~Washington Irving – 1783-1859 Author, Biographer, and Historian

You might think these steps seem easy and wonder why I said at the beginning of this blog that although they aren’t a secret they are hard.

What makes these steps hard? 

You do. I do. We do. We allow everything else in our lives to get in the way of simply moving on our dreams. Click To Tweet We have excuses. We have commitments. We have distractions.

If you follow these steps and commit even 30 minutes each day towards moving on your dream you will be amazed at how far you get and how many of your wishes become real.

Do you have fond memories of a special teacher from childhood, or feel warm gratitude for a teacher who inspired one of your children?  I do.

This week, in the U.S., it is teacher appreciation week. And although I wanted to write about my memories of people who have influenced my life, I find myself angry instead.

Angry that we give trite gifts and cards to teachers on a designated day, rather than honor their amazing contribution with wages that show the impact they have on our future, individually and collectively. Frustrated that so many of our children are warehoused in school–not inspired and their genius nurtured–because their teachers are locked within the confines of pre-determined structure and testing. Saddened by the sense of “other” between adults and children in most schools, and the violence both experience daily in some schools.

The future of our world depends on the ability of the next generation to use their minds beyond memorizing facts. The great teachers cultivate all our mental faculties:

• Imagination
• Intuition
• Will
• Perception
• Reason
• Memory

If you think back to your own list of teachers who stand out in your memory as impacting your life, you will notice their gift to you was probably in helping you develop one of your other strengths like will or imagination.

The amazing teachers of my youth might not have survived the weight of today’s education system on their creative ways of pulling the genius from students.

And yet, incredible teachers still surface in every city and school throughout the world–men and women who are passionate about inspiring the next generation.

Yes, thank them this week. But more importantly help them to succeed. Support their field trips and projects. Ask them what they need. And do whatever you can to help them stay enlivened to their calling–whether you join in global, national or local movements or simply work to keep the education system in your own community an enriching space.

Education is so much more than stuffing facts into little people so they know what we know when they grow up. As Maria Montessori noted,

Establishing lasting peace is the work of education; all politics can do is keep us out of war.