Valentine’s Day can bring up a lot of emotions, especially for women. Did your significant other show you the affection you hoped for? Did the day go the way you wished? Or, maybe this year you do not have a significant other to celebrate a relationship with.

Whatever the underlying cause, your sense of love and being loved can be triggered around this holiday regardless of how you intellectually claim otherwise.

While the emotions are still in sight and have not become a distant memory tucked neatly away, take 30 minutes today to go somewhere private—a walk in the woods or the bathtub will work. Ask yourself these 4 questions.

1. Do I feel loved?
2. What would have made me feel more loved, if anything, this past Valentine’s Day?
3. How much of my self-worth comes from the love I receive from other people or one other person?
4. What situations make me feel the most loved?

You might want to journal your answers and really own how you feel. Once you take stock of your current situation, I challenge you to spend the next 30 days loving yourself.

What would that look like?

How could you take better care of you, be kinder to yourself, love yourself—right now, as you are?

Are there things in your answers to the four questions above that you might be able to do for yourself, rather than wait for someone else to do?

Years ago a mentor of mine told me to go home and tell myself “I love you,” while looking myself in the mirror over and over again—until I felt it. Really felt it. I thought it a silly exercise, until I tried to do it. As I repeated the phrase over and over, I began to cry because I realized how little I really did love myself—without someone else validating I was worthy of love.

Make a commitment to find out what will help you feel worthy of love and to do those things for yourself.

• Are there things you have always wanted to do, but have held back from doing in order to support others that you could now do—a class, a trip, a commitment to a new routine?
• Do you love flowers, but never buy them for yourself?
• Do you enjoy alone time but never carve time out of your other commitments?
• Are there friends you want to spend time who you could set a monthly or weekly date with?

Find the keys that will tell yourself—through action—that you are loved and lovable. By growing your self-love you will not only be happier, you will also be helping those around you love you more because you will be radiating that you are worthy of love and attracting love because your heart will be full of love to give.

Amy