Tag Archives: dreams

Walking the Tightrope of Caring While Having No Attachments

Many spiritual teachings tell us to have no attachments in order to find happiness; while success guru’s teach us to have strong dreams, build vision boards, and think about our goals regularly. How do you navigate these seemingly conflicting instructions?

You don’t have to choose one or the other–happiness or success. In fact, following both the instruction to build a strong vision of where you are going AND remaining detached will help you achieve both.

How?

The key is to have a goal, but not be so attached to it in the form you have in mind that you are closed to other possibilities. You want to build a picture in your mind that becomes so real you can actually feel the emotions you would feel if it were real right now. And at the same time you hold a relaxed view that if this did not happen it would be to make way for something even better.

Without a dream or vision you have no direction; but with attachment you are trying to force things and are not in the state of allowing–where the real magic happens.

You have to care–but not that much.

To do this you have to cultivate a few beliefs:

  1. You must believe in your ability to achieve what you are after and be able to stay focused on your desired outcome, even when events and circumstances have not yet lined up.
  2. You need resilience; knowing if it does not work out you will recover and find something else.
  3. You want faith in the goodness of the universe that when things sometimes don’t go as you plan that something even better is on its way and this was not the best thing for you.

The live by these beliefs, not merely state them, is hard work but the strength and confidence required to do so can be cultivated. It requires more than anything else self-control–control of your thoughts. Each time doubt arises you have to actively say “No” to that thought and return to ones that reflect the three beliefs you want.

When you hear, “This isn’t meant to be; nothing is going right and it’s not happening fast enough,” you must quickly replace those thoughts with, “I don’t know how this is going to come together but I know it is.” Then ask yourself what is the one thing you can do or learn to help you achieve your goal–right now, today. By moving back into action, you not only prevent those negative thoughts from gaining momentum; you also move closer towards your goal.

Each time you find yourself anxious you have to toss it aside with unabashed confidence knowing this goal is not the only thing you can go after. Remind yourself how capable you are–no matter what happens–to create something you love.

Then when occasionally something happens that makes you decide to let go of a particular dream it is critical you keep your thoughts on the idea that somehow that vision wasn’t the right one to bring you your highest happiness. It is hard in the moment to believe that; but if you think back on other losses and times things did not work out, you almost always can see that you are better off now because of it. Use those memories to keep yourself positive when it is happening in the current moment.

Walking the tightrope of strong dreams and detachment takes practice. The results are the ability to create the life you desire easily and effortlessly!

Meaningfully Busy or Harried Busyness?

Its a new year, with new goals, and so many possibilities. Whether you achieve your dreams will depend on your relationship with being busy.

Most women have so many things on their to do list–running errands, taking kids to activities, attending events in support of others, volunteering on a committee, paying bills, just keeping work and home afloat–that they rarely invest in either themselves or the dreams that matter most to them. Is that you, too? Are your days filled with busyness that prevents you from doing what you really choose?

If so, now at the beginning of the year is a great time to change your relationship with being busy.

Busyness implies you are meeting other people’s needs and helping them fulfill their dreams. Busyness means you are checking off errands on a list at the expense of pursuing your inner calling. Busyness keeps everyone’s life in your world streamlined, clutter-free, and humming.

However, to do something meaningful–something meaningful to YOU–you will have to change from busyness to being busy doing what matters. This is such a critical element of achieving success in any realm that I spend considerable time teaching techniques for achieving it in my Wealth Development Program. People with influence or those making significant contributions all do this, consciously or unconsciously.

Here are a few tips that will help you make the transition from busyness to busy.

  • Start your day with a commitment to work on your most important goal. If you want to write a book, write for a specified amount of time; if you are starting a business, take action solely for your new venture at the beginning of the day; whatever your goal is, do it first.
  • Know the areas that sabotage you and hold off doing things that are time-hogs until late in your day–things like answering emails, paying bills, or returning phone calls. These require less energy and creativity and can easily be done then; while your most important work deserves your best energy.
  • Start saying no to things that you do out of guilt, obligation, or because you have always done them. This is hard for most women; however, once you practice doing it, you will start to realize how valuable your time is and saying no will become easier and easier.
  • Keep fortifying your vision and dream regularly. You can have a mission statement you read to yourself daily or a journal where you continue to develop your idea and how it will look and feel once you have achieved it. Whatever form it takes, visualize your end goal often.