Tag Archives: empower

Words of Wisdom For Instant Happiness

Today, I received an email from a friend and colleague who I admire, Natalie Ledwell, quoting one of the women I admire most, Marianne Williamson. The quotes are pointers to how I choose to live. I think you will enjoy them so I have reprinted Natalie’s email below.

If you don’t know about Natalie’s work with Mind Movies, you will want to look into them. Mind Movies allow you to program your mind to the things you want, overriding all the programming you take in unintentionally–and you actually get to create your personalized version!

One of the reasons I love Natalie’s work is that she and I both are passionate to help people learn how to succeed, without the struggle and heartache most people stay stuck in. Both Natalie and I have been in the trenches and are teaching what worked for us, not some theory about what we heard works, but real life-tested ideas.

My success in various businesses would be fleeting and meaningless if it were not for teachers along the way that helped me create fulfillment not just bank balances, and purpose not report cards and titles. Marianne Williamson was one of those teachers.  I first stumbled on to her work over 20 years ago and have been enjoying her wisdom and turning to her guidance ever  since.

In Natalie’s words:

If you haven’t come into contact with this woman’s extraordinary work, you’re really missing out!

I’m talking about Marianne Williamson who, besides being a NY Times best-selling author and lecturer, has been a spiritual friend and counselor to Oprah! YES – Oprah!

If you’d like to be enlightened by her wisdom, read below for seven of her best lessons for instant happiness:

1- Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.

2- Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.

3- We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?

4- Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.

5- The new midlife is where you realize that even your failures make you more beautiful and are turned spiritually into success if you became a better person because of them. You became a more humble person. You became a more merciful and compassionate person.

6- The key to abundance is meeting limited circumstances with unlimited thoughts.

7- Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.

Enjoy!
Natalie ~ Mind Movies

Betraying Ourselves

You may think the worst thing that has ever happened to you was when your husband left for another woman, or your best friend undermined your vulnerable plans by sharing them with someone behind your back, or … fill in the blank with the time you felt emotionally sucker punched.  Just thinking about it brings back that sick feeling in your solar plexus area, doesn’t it?

In her Huffington post article, Dr. Deborah Caldwell says these betrayals pail in comparison to the ones we do to ourselves, sometimes daily.  I agree with Deborah.  I would not keep someone as a friend if they treated me the way I sometimes treat me.  I certainly would never let someone talk to me the way I sometimes find my inner talk going.

These inner dialogues sabotage our ability to attain any worthy goal. Tell that inner voice goodbye.

How can you expect to release that extra 20 pounds if you keep telling yourself you are fat? Your subconscious mind does the only thing it is programed to do.  It makes sure your outer circumstances verify your inner talk. The same is true for your bank statement.  It will not grow fuller than that which agrees with your inner image.  If you find yourself frequently saying: “I am broke,”  “I cannot afford that” or other similar stories, you will be right.

Rather than keep setting New Year’s resolutions you do not keep or goals you won’t fulfill, why not become increasingly aware of your inner self talk!  First, stop the negative chatter.  Literally when you notice you have started a rant, on you, just say “stop it.”  Then stop. Second, add some affirming voices in place of the worn out record of beating yourself up.  Find the things you do well and keep pointing them out to yourself.  Make a list.  Read it daily and add to it often.

This year, your number one goal could be to become your own best friend.  Everything else, I bet, will fall into place when you start to really like and care for you.

Exercise to Create REAL Holiday Cheer!

Hello!

Have you noticed that this time of the year brings up as many gremlins as it does elves and hosts of angels?

As we get closer to the holidays, some of us will start to rush and hurry in preparation—becoming frazzled and overwhelmed, others will get anxious about expected time with relatives kept at a distance the rest of the year, and some of us will fret over finances as we spend more than we think we should.

While we were kids, many of us learned not to set our expectations high at Christmas – so our expectations wouldn’t get dashed and our feelings hurt. We may have taken this message into our internal, unconscious beliefs we operate from as adults, all year long—not just at the holidays!

Thinking about this I began to ponder how something full of potential awe and wonder often becomes downright hard for so many of us. And I realized that the story most of us learned as we got older was that the “grown up story” was nothing like the “pretend” fairy tale we believed as children. In order to “grow up,” we were told to put away these childish whims, any magical thinking and be realistic!

Yet, so much of what I have been studying tells me that my imagination and my expectations are dictating my experience. Whoa there! You mean to tell me that maybe I had it closer to the truth when I was a kid, before I allowed the beliefs of the adults around me to help me “grow up?”

Before you dismiss what I am studying as “new age” or some other label, let me give you some quotes of people you might give greater weight to.

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.” ~ Albert Einstein

“Does a firm persuasion that a thing is so, make it so?… And in the ages of imagination this firm persuasion removed mountains; but many are not capable of a firm persuasion of anything.”  ~ William Blake

“To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.” ~ Thomas Edison

“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” ~ Mark Twain

“Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go no where.”  ~ Carl Sagan

“Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things that escape those who dream only at night. ~ Edgar Allan Poe

“I only hope that we don’t lose sight of one thing—that it was all started by a mouse.” ~ Walt Disney

“Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

“You can’t do it unless you imagine it.” ~ George Lucas

“Live out of your imagination, not your history.” ~ Stephen Covey

“The world is but a canvas to our imagination.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” ~ Gloria Steinem

“The beginning, as you will observe, is in your imagination.” ~ Napoleon Hill

“America was built on courage, on imagination and an unbeatable determination to do the job at hand.” ~ Harry S. Truman

“All the works of man have their origin in creative fantasy. What right have we then to depreciate imagination.” ~ Carl Jung

“The moment a person forms a theory, his imagination sees in every object only the traits which favor that theory.” ~ Thomas Jefferson

“Imagination rules the world.” ~ Napoleon Bonaparte

OK, so I think you get the picture. The top scientists, politicians, artists and thinkers of the world ALL agree that our imagination creates our world; yet the way we were raised taught us to put away imagination when we grew up.

Maybe if we brought our imagination back, we could create a holiday—for ourselves and those around us—truly filled with joy and good cheer, not just an imitation of it. We have just over a week to let our imagination take over. So try this simple exercise.

Write down everything about the holidays you do not enjoy and are dreading—financial issues, a certain relative, whatever it is for you. Then take another piece of paper and IMAGINE with lots of detail what it would look like if it were the exact opposite of what you wrote on that other sheet. Really put in tons of detail. Pretend you are Walt Disney creating something magical; add all the pieces in to make this vision  feel real. What would it FEEL like if it was real? When you have written about your desired holiday, burn the paper with the “old reality.”

Now send a blessing to each person you will be involved with this holiday season. Bless the money you do have in your wallet and bank account and the sources that it comes through to you.

Read your imagined holiday each night before bed imagining what it would feel like if it were real, and send blessings, too. See what magic you can create…with a little childlike imagination!

I wish for you a magical and joy filled holiday season.

All my best,

Amy

Interviews with Influential Women – Lisa Tener

As a big proponent of being mentored and mentoring, I want to give you an opportunity to be inspired by a variety of successful women to be your best and boldest self.  This, my first in the Interviews with Influential Women Series, will do just that.  Lisa Tener recently won the Stevie Award for Mentor and Coach of the Year.  She is a regular contributor to Huffington Post and one of my valued mentors!

Please give my readers a short background on your personal journey that brought you to today.

As a child, I wanted to be a writer “when I grew up.” I wasn’t an avid reader until high school, though, so I am still catching up! While running a nonprofit organization in Boston I got an idea for a book that had nothing to do with my day-job—a book about transforming anger by tapping into one’s creativity, inner wisdom and sense of humor. I teamed up with two authors with loads more experience than I possessed—an anger expert and a cartoonist. The media loved our exercises—Angerobics—and our national publicity included features in Glamour, WebMD, CNN Headline News, PBS TV, ESPN radio and more. Shortly after the book came out,  I began teaching the steps I had developed for “Writing in the Zone.”  Soon, people came to me not only for help with writing in a state of flow, but asking for help with their book proposals and getting published.  It was a great fit with my business and marketing background (two management degrees from MIT), because a book proposal is like a business plan for a book. That led to an invitation to be on the faculty of Harvard Medical School’s CME publishing course, where I meet many of my clients.

Who are your top 3 female role models, and what about each inspires you?

My role models are not necessarily household names but people who’ve had a strong influence in my life. My mother-in-law, the artist Anne Mimi Sammis, is one of my role models. She works in bronze, watercolor and acrylic, creating work that’s about peace, love and celebrating the joy of life. Many of her sculptures are in public spaces—at the Narragansett sea wall, children’s museums, atop a church in Aspen, CO. She’s super-creative and playful—and brings that creative energy and fun into all aspects of her life.

Another mentor and role model my friend Julia Griffin. Julia teaches about intuition and manifestation. Because of Julia, I meditate every day. She’s helped me see how to appreciate life more and create a life that’s joyful. And she’s a role model for spending time outdoors, drawing power from our connection with nature and God.

And another role model is Tama Kieves. In addition to being a life coach, she’s a writer who truly trusts her own voice and isn’t trying to be “marketable.” In this day and age, that takes a certain kind of strength to trust the muse and not try to make things happen.

All three women meditate regularly and consistently spend time on their creative endeavors.

What challenge (s) did you face & overcome to get to where you are?

There were health challenges, which turned out to be a huge gift. They led me to powerful healing and even to the idea for my first book. They opened me spiritually. The other challenge was just starting a business from scratch. At that time, self-publishing had not yet blossomed the way it has now. There weren’t many people doing what I do, so I didn’t really have models for it—I had to invent the business as I went. That was a challenge but also a gift, since it allowed me to create my book coaching business from my heart and soul.

What are the 3 most important things you do (or did) that contribute to your success?

Wow, there are so many things but I would say: 1) Stayed true to my vision. I didn’t make much money at first, and it would have been easy to take a “day job.” However, I trusted my intuition that what started out as “creativity coaching” and morphed into “writing coaching” and then “book coaching” could be a thriving and fulfilling business and vocation. 2) Invested in my business by hiring high quality professionals. When I finally hired a virtual assistant (the wonderful Geri Lafferty) who helped me with my newsletters and administrative tasks my business took up. Geri freed me up to do more of the work I love—coaching, editing and teaching book writing. If I’d know how freeing it was, I think I would have invested sooner. I also invested in business coaches to teach me what they knew about having an internet-based business. I hired professionals for services like copywriting and website design—people who were excellent at what they did. It’s easy to think, as a writer, “I can write my own copy” but my copywriter has done a much better job than I ever did. It’s her expertise. Having said that, you also have to know when not to follow another person’s advice. Particularly with business and money coaches, they may have something that works for them but doesn’t feel right to you. Trust me. 3) Wrote a book! A well-written book that captures your unique voice helps prospective clients get to know you. It provides instant credibility. It opens up doors for the rest of your life. I never could have guessed that writing a book about transforming anger would lead to an invitation to be on the faculty of Harvard Medical School’s CME publishing course. And beyond the doors it opens, writing a book invites you to step into your own personal power—and own your voice—in a very powerful way. It’s perhaps the ultimate personal growth tool—just as a bonus.

Are there any obstacles specific to being a woman you have encountered?

When I worked in the corporate world, I did encounter obstacles, particularly sexual harassment. I was afraid to report it because I thought I might lose my job or make it harder for the next woman to get a job in that company.

How did you handle them?

I left that job as fast as I could! I had been accepted to MIT’s Sloan School of Management right out of college but had decided to defer and work instead. The two-year window was already over but I called them up and asked if they’d extend the offer for the coming year and they did. I love being an entrepreneur because the only obstacles to my business are ones I create—which I can un-create.

What do you consider the top issues women face today?

The thing I see most in the women I coach is that they are so focused on helping others that they will often put everything else before their biggest dreams. I think their biggest challenge is giving themselves permission to really go for it—whatever their “it” is. Having said that, as a mom, there are times to hold back and wait. Childhood is a precious time and so it may make a good deal of sense to curtail speaking engagements and business trips in order to have more quality time with family.

That leads me to the other huge challenge, particularly for moms— how to find a balance between work and home life. Work can be seductive. It’s easier to excel at work than at parenting. Parenting is so much harder! I have to set limits with work, especially working at home, so that it doesn’t take over. A third big issue is how to be a woman in an environment that is usually designed by males. Much of corporate life runs counter to the way we are wired. I suggest women find a workplace that feels more supportive or start your own business. Don’t let a soul-less workplace suck you dry. It can.

What are the biggest opportunities available to women today?

As an entrepreneur, I think the biggest opportunities are in creating your own thing—a “thing” that makes a big difference in the world, uses your gifts and skills in a maximal way, is fun and makes you grow. It’s less about a particular field and more about finding an arena that makes you shine your brightest and also nudges you to continue to expand and grow. You get to create your own “thing” from scratch—with your personal vision and values. You don’t have to squeeze yourself into someone else’s expectations or an environment that forces you to leave half of your personality at home. You get to be you and shine. And the sky’s the limit on your earnings.

What are the 3 most important things women need to do or consider when charting their next chapter of life, whenever that may be for them?

1) What gifts do you have that you are under-using or might like to explore more?

2) What makes your heart sing: what do you LOVE to do and how can you incorporate that into your vision for this next chapter?

3) What difference do you want to make for people (your clients, yourself, your family, the world)?

Is there anything else you would like to share?

Just that I’m excited to see your vision, Amy. You have this marvelous blend of savvy-business woman and soulful, feminine power that comes from a very deep place. Seeing you bring these two aspects together is exciting and a powerful invitation for women of any age to redefine success on their terms. It’s a powerful message that we can be women—and all that means to us—and also be very successful, particularly financially. I think there’s a myth that if we fully embrace our femininity, we can only earn so much. You bust that myth to pieces. For some of the women authors I have worked with, the business and money piece can be stumbling blocks. They can write an award-winning book but they resist fully stepping into their power when it comes to money. I’m so glad you are out to help women change that.

Award-winning book writing coach Lisa Tener merges a love of writing and business by helping entrepreneurs, health professionals, therapists, coaches and others grow their businesses and/or themselves by writing and publishing nonfiction books, mainly how-to/self-help. Her clients have been published by /signed contracts with major publishing houses; received five- and six-figure advances and major media coverage; and won top industry awards. She has appeared on ABC World News Tonight, PBS-TV, and in Glamour magazine, The Boston Globe, The Providence Journal, Family Circle, Body & Soul Magazine and many others. She received her bachelors and masters degrees from MIT’s Sloan School of Management and she currently serves on the faculty of Harvard Medical School’s CME Publishing Course.

Transitions from Motherhood

This week, I sent my youngest child off to school — as an adult! My happy 18 year old girl drove herself off to high school, and I felt great joy both in seeing her satisfaction and just knowing the person she is.

As part of my morning routine, I made myself a cup of tea to read and meditate. When I sat down to meditate, I was flooded with unexpected emotions…

… Anger at her dad for not being part of her life these past 7 years and the trauma of our divorce

… Anger at myself for not doing something different that would have helped their relationship be more sound

… Sadness for somehow missing the mark of what I had hoped my life and hers would be like when she was born

… Frustration for all the moments lost that I allowed my attention to be consumed with arguing with my ex-husband (in real life and all those arguments in my head), instead of enjoying her and all my children –especially the arguments they had to endure hearing.

… Fear and despair that I might never again have a worthy life purpose like I did as a mother

…. Depression that everything else I do feels like busy-ness to fill the void

… Worry I might be alone the rest of my life

… Repulsion I might end up like my mom with lots of acquaintances but no one really in my life (sure sign of craziness because I already have deep and close friends …but hey this was purging not reality)

… Anxiety about leaving my family home–Will they come to visit me wherever I live, or do I need this place they grew up to anchor our clan?

Feeling the spiral of despair, I decided to go outside. I walked the half mile to feed the horses just to move my body–still crying and releasing.

When I returned home, I began writing everything about this state of looking forward–into my post kid era– that I don’t like–triggered by my girl’s glorious day! I really let it flow. (I had so much work staring at me, but I needed to feel this and not tuck it away. Thank God I had no meetings this morning!)

Once the steam was out of my rant about all that seemed “wrong” about this upcoming chapter of my life, I decided to create a picture of the exact opposite to these things that were haunting me. I picked up my journal and wrote the polar opposite of each item. (It is an idea I heard from Bob Proctor.) I wrote and wrote about how I want my life to be going forward. It was great! It’s actually the best description I’ve done yet because it had so much specificity reversing exactly my deepest fears about my future. No Pollyanna affirmations.

When I had completed writing about all the things I would want to happen that were opposite of my fears, I could feel the power in me. I put my journal down with a “Hell yeah!” Then, I went outside and burned the original sheets of what I do not want. That was pure fun!

This exercise of asking what is the exact opposite of this feeling was extremely useful because it got me writing about a future that would really excite me. I was addressing specifically my deepest concerns rather than putting my best foot forward while harboring these negative feelings internally, and most likely unconsciously!

The things I wrote about had so much more depth, color, detail and life to them than when I normally write out my goals. I plan to read what I wrote every day for the next 30 days. And if I am inclined, I am going to keep adding to the detail of what I wrote until the picture is vivid in my mind, even when I am not reading.

I will let you know how it goes. And I suggest you try it the next time your emotions have you down. Get real specific about what it is you are feeling. And then do a 180 degree turn and write exactly the opposite situation. It is like turning the whole thing on its head. Or maybe its like being turned on your head by your emotions, and then setting yourself upright again!

Educating Girls Worldwide Matters!

This week Ann Cotton, an amazing role model for women about making a difference, received the WISE (World Innovative Summit for Education) award for her role founding Camfed, and organization that has helped millions of African girls stay in school.

Ann started Camfed in 1993 to create sponsorship to a few dozen girls so their families could afford to keep them in primary school.  Today, it is estimated that over 3 million students benefit indirectly from Camfed’s activities, which include financial support of students, teacher training, and mentoring community activists — all with the goal of giving all children access to primary education (especially girls who still rank well below boys in completing primary school in poor countries).

Some might ask why I focus on empowering girls and women and why educating girls around the globe is so important.  This past fall, I found out why this matters at Just Like My Child’s gala event, which raised money for the Girl Power project.  Here are a few reasons:

  • 51% of the world’s population are women and 64% of illiterate adults are women.
  • More than 100 million children remain out of schools and 66 million of them are girls, half in the sub-Saharan Africa.
  • When a girl educated for 7 years or more, she marries 4 years later and has 2.2 fewer children.
  • Empowering women and girls raises economic productivity and reduces infant mortality. It contributes to improved health and nutrition, and increases the chances of education for the next generation.
  • When women and girls earn income, they reinvest 90% of it into their families, compared to 30-40% for males earning income.
  • When a woman is financially independent, she can stand her ground, speak her voice, her children are stronger and healthier and the state of the world improves exponentially.
  • Education has proven to yield larger impacts than any other form of aid and assistance for men or women.  With education sexually transmitted disease, including HIV, go down, early pregnancies decrease, and income potential increases.

I leave you with these words from Nelson Mandela:

“No country can really progress unless its citizens are educated.”

What I’m Thankful For: Women That Are Making A Difference!

I am so grateful and thankful for all the ways women are creating real differences in our world!  There are so many of you making immense contributions in your communities.  THANK YOU!

Here are some of my favorite (more visible) game changers.  Who do you know making a difference?  Share some of your favorites on my Facebook page.  The more we applaud each other, the greater our reach and the larger our impact.  Let’s grow this list and spread the word about women who are making a difference!

1.  Marianne Williamson for stepping into the political arena running for U.S. Congress in California.  Such a big, bold move for one of our leaders in women spirituality.   I loved her authenticity and willingness to bring a wider, more inclusive perspective to politics.  Even though she did not win the congressional seat, Marianne did open the political conversation as she challenged both parties to higher integrity and gave voice to many people who have checked out of the political system–believing it will not change.  Marianne not only demanded change from politicians, she also challenged each of us to take seriously our role in making the United States how we want it rather than complain from the side-lines.

2.  Cynthia Kersey for starting Unstoppable, which ensures that African youth have the ability to improve their lives and those in their community by building schools. Nelson Mandela said, “No country can truly develop unless its citizens are educated.”  That is what Cynthia’s Unstoppable Foundation does!

3.  Reshma Saujani for launching Girls Who Code, the nation’s pre-eminent nonprofit dedicated to closing the tech gender gap.   Reshma has gained support of Google, Facebook and other high tech companies and is fostering an attitude of can do in an area where girls are often told they can’t.  And I love her because she has set this bold, big goal to teach one million high school students (females) and to code.

4.  Dina Habib Powel for setting large, amazing goals (AND MEETING THEM) to increase the number of women entrepreneurs by educating 10,000 women. Now she has the goal of reaching 100,000 female owned businesses with $600 million in capital through the world bank.  Dina is an example of setting big goals and then believing strongly enough in them that they come true!

5.  Farhana Huq for creating a non-profit called C.E.O. Women (Creating Economic Opportunities for Women), whic teaches low-income immigrant women to become savvy entrepreneurs.  In four years she has helped 450 women start or expand their businesses and become strong.  The impact of helping these women move from being dependent to standing on their feet not only affects these women individually but also their families and their communities.

6.  Jules Piere for growing her company, The Grommet, to a world class status — providing a marketing and distribution platform for innovative and creative product ideas that might not otherwise have a way to reach their market.  Her concept of Citizen Commerce takes back the power to choose from multi-national chains into the hands of consumers like you and I.  It is a brilliant concept that helps newly founded companies actually have a shot at success where they might otherwise be an unknown unable to break through.

7.  Robin Ely for making substantive changes at Harvard by pushing to include women protagonists in their case studies and being spokeswoman for women’s empowerment.  Changing the way world leaders view women starts where these leaders are being formed and Robin is making changes that will stick.

8.  Vivian Glyck for forming  Just Like My Child (and Girl Power), which empower girls in Africa to stand up against violence and abuse, stay in school and marry later than the average of 11 years old.  The message of empowerment is strong and working!  (We could use this program in our schools here in the United States, too.)  Her project empowers both the volunteers who help and those they are helping.  I plan to take my three girls to Africa to help this cause next summer.

These are just a few of the amazing women in the world today, making a difference.  Send me info on others you know of so we can spread the word, support fellow sisters who are working hard on our behalf and inspire each other!

What limitations do you believe?

In 1955 and at the age of 67, Emma Gatewood, mother of 11 and grandmother of 23, became the first woman to thru-hike the 2168-mile Appalachian Trail solo.

It makes you wonder what limitations we hold as fact that might be a belief we acquired along the way–a belief we could just as easily put down as hold.  Do you think you are too old?  Too fat?  Too young?  Do you worry you don’t have the right education?  Or the right experience?  Do you think only men can do that?  Or only people who already have money?  Do you feel other people have advantages you do not?

What voices do you listen to that tell you it can’t be done?

What would you be doing if you did not believe that limitation?

I am certain there were plenty of people telling Emma Gatewood she was too old or for any number of reasons (including she was a woman) she shouldn’t attempt to hike the entire Appalachian Trail alone.  Maybe she had internal voices saying things, too.

She obviously did not listen.  What could you do if you stopped listening to the clatter of limitations you currently believe?

Imagine your dream in detail often.  Make a plan that moves you in the direction of your goal.  Surround yourself with people who will tell you — “You go girl”!

And then go…..

You only have to take one step at a time, and with each successful step you become stronger, bolder and closer to your dream!

What dreams do you have that you hold yourself back from following?

Drop Negative Media Headlines as Truth and look elsewhere for news

Sometimes we focus too much on what is not right.  Yet, focusing on what is going well, who is showing up and making things better, and how good things are happening all around us is exactly the recipe for bringing more of the good things to the stage of our lives.

Melinda Gates has a forum on tumblr to spotlight people who are making a difference at empowering women and girls.  You will be inspired reading about these unsung heroes and heroines.

Just as important as what these wonderful people are doing is asking ourselves what are we doing to empower women and girls.  What can I do today, this week, this month that will give some other woman a lift up?

The people Melinda is highlighting did not just one day do an amazing, global, world changing act.   They set out with small acts of courage to go against the norm, small words of encouragement when some female was down and out, or some gift of mentorship for one, single individual that built in them the muscle and the habit of doing more and more until they did something the world recognizes as a great contribution.

Look around your world.  What women and girls do you come into contact with?  What do they need to get ahead that you could help with?  Look at yourself.  What strengths do you have?  What experience have you garnered?  How can you share your strengths and wisdom with other women or girls–maybe just one, possibly making a difference in their lives?

Large acts of grandeur are not necessary for women and girls to become fully empowered. Small, continuous acts of generosity from those of us that have something to share may have a far wider reach than we ever imagined.

Let me know what you do to help empower other women and girls.  Your idea could be the winning lottery ticket that inspires millions of others to do the same small act that changes the world for women from this day forward.

Sorry — how often do you say it?

This Pantene ad uncomfortably depicts our unnatural tendency as women to apologize for everything –even mundane daily nuances, repeating “sorry” whenever someone might be displeased.  Is it true?  Do you?  I confess, I still say sorry way too often in way too many circumstances where it is not the needed response.

As I became aware of it years ago I said it less–and still saying sorry is my tendency.  It’s almost like having the doctor tap that little hammer on my knee and up flies my leg; only it is every possible time I accidentally bump into another human being physically or emotionally–oops, sorry–even if is they who are doing the bumping!

I never thought of it as a gender based issue, just a personal flaw of mine.  Yet, after watching this ad and reading some of the interesting write ups on women apologizing, I am starting to notice how many of my female friends and colleagues are plagued with this “verbal tic” as Bonnie Marcus labeled it.  You might enjoy reading some of the research, CNN’s Kelly Wallace found of two studies showing men having a higher threshold as to what they need to apologize for and Gwen Moran’s excellent write up giving solutions.  She looks at women’s predominant tendency to say “sorry” and then offers three important habit changers–find another phrase, get someone to audit you and give you feedback, and ….silence.

We will talk more later about the different ways we can improve our strength in relating to others without feeling pushed around or having to push.  But not right now–sorry!