Tag Archives: follow your passion

8 Tips for a More Balanced Life

Recently, I was asked what my best advice was for women maintaining a work-life balance. My answer was I don’t believe in work-life balance — and that’s the truth.

The only people worried about it are those who are uninspired by their work. The rest of us are engaged and enjoying what we do, so forcing some balance seems arbitrary and unnecessary.

For example, it is Sunday while I am writing this blog and most people might think if I were leading a balanced life I would not be working.

However, I have spent most of my day reading interesting articles about new business ideas, learning about what some amazing women are doing and bringing it to you in the way of upcoming blogs. I have enjoyed myself thoroughly, while pursing my deep desire to empower women. I did not need to look for balance.

At the same time, people pursuing their passion successfully are also usually good at taking care of themselves to ensure they have the energy, focus and creativity to be successful.

So let’s look at some of the most important ways you can keep yourself well-positioned for success by taking care of yourself — this is how I keep myself healthy and happy.

I work on my important big tasks early in the day before meetings, email or other daily trivia can overwhelm my time. This always includes activity that is moving my BIG goal forward, since I know from experience that I become enthusiastic when I am working on something I feel passionate about. That enthusiasm seeps into everything else I do all day long.
I plan my important tasks ahead of time for the week and usually end my work day with a list of what is important for the next day, rather than just take what comes. By planning ahead, I have more control over my time and am less at the effect of all the minor emergencies of life. And when real emergencies do take me away, I know what my priorities are when I resume, so I spend less time reconstructing my day.
I avoid multi-tasking, so that my focus is on the task at hand. That way, I complete things faster, leaving me free to be present for my family and friends when I elect to.
Eat healthy, home-cooked meals often using real ingredients that are as close to the way mother-nature provided them as possible. We are what we eat–it affects our moods, energy, focus and mental capacity. Although many busy people feel they cannot afford to take time to cook from scratch, my opinion is you cannot afford not to. This is one of the multi-tasking areas I indulge because cooking often becomes a social event for me–time to catch up with a child or friend while cooking together. With such a large household (4 kids plus a nephew who lived with us and often friends for dinner), I always cook large quantities that allow me to have home cooked leftovers eliminating the need to cook at every meal.
Exercise regularly. I like to mix my exercise between long walks to clear my head, gardening to feed my soul and going to yoga or Pilates classes to build my strength.
Lastly, something I am learning to do better — take “real” breaks, not pretend breaks from work. My fake breaks include looking at social media sites (which although are entertaining and a great way to learn about friends) usually end up including me posting on my business page or linking to articles that become research for a book or program. I get much greater rejuvenation from a phone call or dinner with a friend, or cooking a meal with one of my children completely away from anything work related.
Enjoy life. Although I am working on a Sunday, I left my work behind yesterday to spend the morning with my daughter who will leave soon for her gap year travels. Then, a friend unexpectedly came to visit in the afternoon, and I went out to a movie and dinner with friends in the evening. Was there work that needed to be done? Yes, when isn’t there? But having fun is one of the ingredients to success.

I know the title of this blog is 8 tips for a more balanced life and I just gave you seven. The first and most important tip was in the intro. Do what you love, follow your passion and balance will happen because you will feel more alive!

Achieving Balance During Life’s Biggest Transitions

On Mother’s Day, I watched one of my daughter’s graduate college, and in a few weeks, my youngest will graduate high school. Within full of appreciation for their achievements and excitement for their futures, I am sometimes caught by surprise by the deep effect their transitions have on me.

As a mom, my children’s transitions actually constitute transitions for my life, too. Will they be living at home anymore? What level of support will being their mom mean in their next phase of life? how much influence do I actually have on their choices?

I remember distinctly the day my son (and oldest child) first drove away at 16 years of age with his newly acquired license. I knew I had to trust that the job I had done would guide him to make good choices, because as much as I didn’t want to admit it—once out of the driveway, he could do and go as he pleased. It also meant I would no longer be driving him everywhere — a significant convenience, yet a loss of one-on-one talk time with him that I loved.

Have you experienced some of these transitions, too?

The tricky part with these relationships we cherish is investing our hearts in them, while still maintaining our own center of gravity. We require our own dreams and inspirations so that as our children become less dependent on us we are not left with a black hole in our lives. It is even true of our spouses, friends and work. Our center of gravity must remain in us, while we nurture, love and put our all into the things we care about.

I have not always been good at this balance — often being far more invested in others than myself. However, what has changed all this for me is having a BIG goal of my own! Even if I am fully investing most of my time in my children or my work, if I have identified my BIG personal goal and invest just a little time towards it regularly it establishes my own center of gravity, my own destination, and feeds my inner light. And ironically, I have found I am a better mother, friend and worker when my inner light and center of gravity is strong!

It has also made these transitions smoother and more joyful, even if I do still cringe that the part of my parenting journey where my children are living at home is coming to a close — I have more energy invested in my future than grieving what is past.

Here is to gloriously smooth and joyful transitions for your life!

To the Graduating Women of 2015

Graduating women of 2015, congratulations! You have achieved your goal and are about to embark upon the next journey of your life.

You may receive advice from parents, friends, and other well meaning people on what job to take, where to live, or any other significant decision you are making as you leave the container of college. Yet, no matter what path you choose there are some things that can help you on your way.

Believe in your capacity to do great things. Maybe you are naive, idealistic, and impractical. Good. Stay that way as long as you can. Thinking outside the box is the only way new and wonderful things have come to humans, so let yourself believe — regardless of what others say. As a serial entrepreneur, I have found believing in myself the most important thing I have done to create opportunities and succeed.
Know you will probably encounter gender bias at work and in life. It is still an unfortunate reality. However, more important is to remove any internal gender bias you might have that will hold you back from shining. Two ways young women do this are either to retract into sweet, non-assertive mannerisms to avoid offending the men in power over them, or to over masculate their mannerisms–hiding their feminine nature. Neither work and both will leave you in a one down position. Be yourself. Bring your feminine and masculine strengths to your life. And speak up for yourself with the expectation you will be heard, not with the expectation you will have to fight for your rights. Stay alert to your own subconscious gender bias lest it sabotage your success before you even start or creep in slowly without warning. Other people cannot hold you back if you are enthusiastic and believe in yourself.
Find women you admire and connect with them. Having strong women in your circle will help you in ways you cannot imagine, until it happens.
Take a leap of faith and do what your heart is calling you to do. You are not commiting for a lifetime, so let go of the fear this has to be “the right” choice. When you follow your heart, and not your head, you will avoid spending decades in dead end jobs that seemed responsible. Plus, you will have spent your energy pursuing what excites you and there is no telling today what great things will come out of that tomorrow. To bring your innate gifts to the world, you have to pursue what you are passionate about. The world needs your passion and creativity, not some mindless motion of another cog in the wheel.

PART OF INFLUENTIAL WOMEN, INC.

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