Tag Archives: future

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

How many times were you asked this as a young child? As an adult you may have actually wondered if you would every really grow up and know what you really wanted to be?

While no one really cared how you answered this question when you were little, as you got older you were given an idea from subtle and no so subtle suggestions that you must choose one goal or “purpose.”

The irony of this cultural pressure is that I have yet to meet anyone who truly has had one destiny or purpose. In fact, what makes people interesting is their multifaceted past. What creates genius is your ability to see things from various perspectives to find the keys to a new solution–something that comes with a varied experience.

How many people can you name who are still doing what they studied in college?

Sometimes doing what you love changes. You change. Circumstances change. Technology inserts new ways of doing things. Opportunities arise that if you are wise you capture–not because it was your goal since you were five and people asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up or it was your college major–but because the opportunity ignites your imagination and enthusiasm.

We have traveled down the road of specializing to such a degree that it is hard to change paths once you have invested so much energy in one direction. We have forgotten how important it is to be able to have a general perspective before you can drill deep. Henry Ford is often quoted as saying he did not need to know everything because he could hire people who specialized in those areas. Similarly, Andrew Carnegie, at one time the richest man in the world, surrounded himself by people who understood the steel industry much better than he did–even though he made his fortune in steel.

The people at the top of any field are not experts in everything needed for their success.

  • The orchestra conductor cannot play every instrument in the symphony.
  • The CEO is not an expert at marketing, manufacturing and finance.
  • The school principal is not an expert in each subject taught at her school.
  • The heart surgeon does not administer the anesthesia.

Maybe when our life expectancy was around 30 years of age it made sense to do one thing and do it well. But you will most likely live three times that age, so why limit yourself to doing the same thing your whole life through?

If you are a person who has many interests, rather than let culture pressure make you feel flighty and ungrounded, remind yourself that you are actually ahead of the rest of society who painfully try to find things that will inspire them. Many people in life have dulled their curiosity and ability to explore new things. If you have changed courses multiple times than you have probably honed and cultivated a spirit of learning that will serve you throughout life. Other skills you have gained are:

  • Comfort in uncertainty.
  • Skills that transfer across sectors like being able to inspire others, organization, or others.
  • Seeing multiple perspectives, creating solutions otherwise missed.
  • Ability to learn new things.
  • Adaptability which is key in our rapidly changing world.

The next time someone belittles your changing careers or ending one passion for another, remember…

By feeding your curiosity and willingness to change you are building your genius and becoming the person you were meant to be–when you grow up!

 

Who Can You Be Today?

What is the greatest ideal expression of myself I can be today?

This simple question has the potential to move you from guilt and blame over the past or anxiety and doubt about the future.

Imagine waking each day without care about the mistakes you made yesterday or worry about your ability to reach your goals in the future–solely focused on what is the best you can bring to today!

I didn’t make this question up; some wise person I don’t recall gave it to me. The question gave me pause, made me consider, and helped me put things in perspective. Then, like so many of us, I let this wise teaching slip into the background. However, I was smart enough to send myself a note that would arrive months later to remind me of the question again today.

Now re-reading it with new eyes I am committed to asking myself this question every morning for the rest of my life. I posted it on my bathroom mirror to remind me each morning when I wake and each evening when I retire that the only think required of me is to bring my best to the day at hand.

And now I ask you. What is the greatest ideal expression of yourself you can bring to your life, today?

Regrets Keep You at the Train Wreck

Sometimes I find myself wishing I made other decisions or took other paths along the way to now. Do you have regrets, too?

Invariably this type of thinking strikes me when something has not gone as I had hoped–my marriage of 29 years falls apart, my mom gets diagnosed with cancer, I get sick from too much stress. And even the not so big moments of disappointment can hurl me into the endless loop of “What should I have done differently?” if I let them.

Although I know it is essential to evaluate our choices so we make better ones in the future, I usually am much more likely on a spiral of regret and discouragement when I find these voices taking the stage of my mind.

The question is not whether you will have thoughts of regret, you will. The solution is not to avoid disappointment, it comes–bidden or not. The answer lies in the path forward.

How do you navigate away from falling into an abyss of despair and personal condemnation when big things go wrong?

Common advice like “You have to recognize that it is all for the better,” or “You created it, so you can now create something better” all lack the needed understanding for how I feel in that moment. I may be able to see the truth in these attitudes later, but in the moment they dig me deeper into my dungeon of self-loathing for mistakes made.

What does work for me is making plans and taking action. Even when looking forward to the future seemed dismal because my family was “broken apart,” making plans that moved me out of limbo did help me stop the emotional bleeding. Sometimes that is the most important thing in a crisis; stop the hemorrhaging.

It’s better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret.

~ Jacki Joyner-Kersee – Athlete

It’s a bit like being on a train going someplace when the conductor stops the train and tells you the train is no longer going to your destination. It really does not matter if the engine failed or it was a full on train wreck. You are in the station, your bags all around you, trying to make sense of your plans which have been irrevocably changed. That train is not moving, you are not getting a refund and there is no way to magically start over back at the beginning.

You can sit down and lament the situation. But until you get up and assess your options, buy another form of transportation, and start moving–you’re stuck. As soon as you start making plans your focus changes from the plans no longer happening to something new. It may not completely remove the sting of not getting to your original destination; however, it starts the process of healing.

This past December I moved across the country to start a new chapter of my life. I have been divorced for 5 years and it took me that long to get out of the train station with my bags all around me. Maybe I could not have done it sooner, maybe I could. But the movement has opened my energy and my possibilities.

If you have found yourself talking too often–to others or yourself–about what didn’t turn out the way you planned I recommend you change your focus to what steps you can take, make plans, and start moving.

You don’t have to make plans for what to do with the rest of your life. That may have been what kept me from moving forward–I thought I needed an answer for the long-term. You just need plans for what to do next. Then begin your new journey with that first step.

You will be glad you did.

 

In life — Eat one bite at a time!

“The distance is nothing; it is only the first step that is difficult.”
Madame Marie du Deffand

I love this quote!  It reminds me of wisdom I have had to learn over and over again.  That wisdom is: It is not essential to know all the steps of how to accomplish a big goal.  What is essential is taking the next step.

So often we become paralyzed by the scope of our goal or the number of things looming over us needing to be done and we fail to move forward at all.  Each step, no matter how small, will move you closer.

When I hit this place it appears every aspect of my goal is tied to the next and will create a domino affect if I make the wrong move, or miss the magic answer.  If the project feels like climbing Mount Kilimanjaro sometimes I spin in circles trying to put all the pieces into some systematic order that will make the job come together.  From this place decisions are impossible and forward motion ceases.

Yet, truly all that is needed is for me to take the next step.  And with each step the next one becomes more obvious.  Each step simplifies the path and brings the end goal closer.  And my taking action not only moves me closer to the goal, it also reduces my anxiety and clarifies my thoughts.  This simple solution has solved more problems for me than almost anything else.

Do you sometimes get paralyzed by decisions that feel too huge, or a project that feels overwhelming?  Try this next time.  Take just the very next step.  Decisions become easier and mountains of tasks slowly shrink to a manageable size.