When something happens you don’t want it generally makes you feel bad. A results in B, right?

Not exactly.

I am not talking about the Law of Attraction principle which would state that B (your thoughts) actually creates A (your circumstances). Rather, I am suggesting there is something between A and B that actually creates B.

What is it?

It is your thoughts about A, not A itself that create your feelings. If you have ever been divorced you will notice that some people place much greater significance on this event and how it affects their lives and how they view themselves than others. I know, because I did. Does that mean I wanted to stay married more than those that did not add as much judgment to their situation? Maybe; but maybe not.

You probably have numerous examples from your own life when you could see that how you perceived a situation completely affected how you felt, your mood, and even your subsequent actions. We explain these things all the time to others as we justify our outbursts or melancholy.

OK, maybe it is hard to see in yourself; but you have to admit you see it in others all the time. If she would just open to the possibilities. If he wouldn’t take this so hard he could overcome it. If only…

I even learned recently that a study done by the University of Wisconsin found that stress increased your likelihood of death by 43%–ONLY if you believed stress was bad for you! The study, and others cited by Kelly McGonigal in her TedTalk, are remarkable and you might enjoy learning more about it.

If your perception about stress can change whether you die from it, how much more likely is it that our thoughts about some of events in our lives are actually the cause of how we feel–not the events themselves?

Mary Morrissey gave me a great exercise that can help you change your perception and reaction when bad things happen in your life. She suggests you give it three days before judging it bad. During those three days you look for all the ways it might turn out to be a good thing. Keep your eyes open to possibilities. Then in three days if it still looks awful, you are welcome to react. According to Mary this universally changes the outcome.

Try it. What do you have to loose? You can always get upset at the end of three days (72 hours to be exact.) And by postponing your panic or grief, you just may save yourself the agony all together.