Recently, I have been plagued with a number of set backs in a project of mine. The setbacks were tied to government agencies, so the solutions were slow and laborious. It has been hard to not focus on the problems. These are the moments when affirmations and pretending things are OK fail most of us, and they were failing me. All I could see was the obstacle.

So I used an exercise to help me focus on the outcome I want (and not feel like I am just lying to myself).

First, I wrote down everything that was going wrong. I included my judgment about the people involved, the unjustness of the situation, and how it makes me feel. Then, I noticed some repetitive patterns in my outlook similar to other situations, so I kept writing — things like how it seems I often make great efforts and then something “always” happens to get me off track — or how things are so hard. I wrote until I had completely exhausted all the ways this situation and similar ones frustrate me.

You know you’re on to something important when what you write makes you think, “Yep, that is exactly how it is.”

It could be how you have been trying to improve your relationship for some time, but your partner is unwilling to put the effort into changing. Or maybe it is that you do a great job at work and your boss dismisses your efforts and praises other people who didn’t work near as hard as you.

After I felt complete with this part, I began writing what it would look and feel like if I was experiencing the exact opposite of this situation.

Because what I wrote was the polar opposite of what I had been experiencing it was really powerful. I could actually FEEL what it would feel like to have it be like I wanted. The difference is that it wasn’t a band-aid affirmation — it was the EXACT OPPOSITE of what I had written –line by line.

Because I was already emotionally involved in my view of what was wrong, it was equally easy to pin point the exact things that would feel right. I think that is the key to exercises like this. You need to use them in the moment, not just as a theoretical exercise.

Now, I am ready each morning and rewriting each night (focusing on the things I wrote about what I do want to experience). And it’s working!

I will leave you with a quote from Napoleon, who was known for being single-minded in his thinking.

I see only the objective; the obstacles must give way!

You might want to try this exercise, too, join me in overcoming negative thought patterns! And, please let me know how it goes.