Tag Archives: relax

Are you the Queen of “What if?”

Have you ever noticed that when you become anxious about something your internal voice that asks “what if?” goes into overdrive?

Questions that start with these two words actual do not improve your ability to assess a situation and make sound decisions.  No, these two words just add fuel to your stress and worry. According to Travis Bradberry, coauthor of Emotional Intelligence 2.0:

The more time you spend worrying about the possibilities, the less time you’ll spend focusing on taking action.

So rather than fret and worry about what might happen here are some tips to get you into a mindset that will support your success in the next stressful circumstance (let’s face it, another one will come sooner or later).

  • Breathe!

    • This is always my first and formost recommendation when anxiety mounts. Take at least two minutes (excuse yourself to the bathroom if needed) to just breathe deeply. Oxygenating your brain will improve your thought process.  Slowing down to breath will calm your nervous system.  And lastly, deep breathing for two minutes will allow you to respond, not react, to whatever troubles you.

  • Think outside the box!

    • When faced with a crisis of sorts you might tend to resort to restrictive thinking. “This is how it always is.” “This will never work.” Sometimes you need to imagine how another person would see and handle this situation, rather than yourself, to start to expand your possible solutions.

  • Imagine the outcome you desire in detail.

    • Unfortunately, if you are like most people you problem are great at imagining the details of what can go wrong but spend little time imagining things going exactly how you would want them.  Put time into creatively imagining how you want things to go and put your focus on the postitive possibilities.

  • Create a plan of action for achieving what you want.

    • Sometimes a list of what I need to do, broken down into small steps is extremely soothing to me.  It helps take me out of crisis mode and into planning mode. It also helps me see things from the smaller details that look managable rather than the overwhelming problem where I started.
    • You can even add in contingency plans to settle your “What if” queen, as long as they focus on how you can overcome possible obstacles and do not start a list of reasons it won’t work.

  • Ask will this matter next month, next year, in five years, or when I am old.

    • This is one of my favorite exercises and one that has saved me from spiraling into uncontrolled anguish that my first boss gave me. It will help you put things in perspective quickly when your fight or flight system has been triggered.

Time-off will improve your time on!

Did you know that 9 out of 10 Americans say their happiest moments came from vacations, yet according to Horizon Workforce Consulting two-thirds of Americans do not use all their paid vacation days?

It is a contradiction that the majority of people value their family over work, remember vacations more vividly than other weeks of the year, and yet often avoid actually taking these coveted vacations.

How many of the weeks you can remember over the past 10 years were during a vacation?

Do any of these reasons keep you from taking time off from work?

  • You fear asking your boss for the time off?
  • You feel guilty taking time off because it will put a burden on other people you work with?
  • You dread having to orchestrate everything to accommodate you being gone–who will handle some of your responsibilities, what needs to be rescheduled, what will you miss, and how will you get other things done before you go?
  • You dread even more the pile of work that will await you when you get back?
  • You don’t want people to see they can get along just fine without you?

Other countries with long-standing minimum vacation requirements don’t seem to have the level of vacation phobia that Americans struggle with.  Taking time off from work (whether you work at home caring for others, have a full-time job, or something in between) is good for you and for the work you do.  Let’s look more closely to relieve you of participating in what TakeBackYourTime.org calls the epidemic of overwork.

  1. By taking a vacation you will actually improve your work because time-off:
    1. Increases productivity
    2. Sparks creativity
    3. Improves problem-solving
  2. According to a 9-year study by Brooks Gump, PhD, MPH, and Karen Mathews, PhD more frequent vacations are good for your health and may even reduce your chance of stress-related deaths from things like heart attacks.

One of the first things you are instructed to do if your computer is having trouble is to turn it off and then re-start it.  You, too, need time to reboot.

Everyone needs unstructured time to explore their creative nature, experience joy, and reconnect to loved ones.  This time does not mean leaving your work and using the time to care for an elderly relative or fix up your house. This is time where your responsibilities are lessoned and your playfulness is increased.  It can be across the ocean, down the street, or in your own backyard–as long as you get to genuinely let go.

When is your next vacation?  If you don’t have any time-off planned, why not sit down tonight and start day-dreaming!