As winter storms start appearing in the Northern Hemisphere, springtime is beginning to bloom in the south. Cycles of life that we expect, often look forward to, and plan on.

Yet, so many other cycles of life–like children growing up, parents dying, and other passages–while still predictable are not always welcomed or easy.

Your ability to feel your feelings in these circumstances, while not getting pulled into a complete downward spiral, is the key to healthy transitions. I am in the midst of these transitions as my youngest child leaves home, I move out of our family home where I raised my children these past 18 years, and I move across country, embark on a new business venture, and start a new chapter of my life.

A passage in James Allen’s As a Man Thinketh has held me during this time and might help keep you from allowing challenging life passages to send you into realms of emotions that are hard to break:

“Yes, humanity surges with uncontrolled passion, is tumultuous with ungoverned grief, is blown away by anxiety and doubt. Only the wise woman, only she whose thoughts are controlled and purified, makes the winds and the storms of the soul obey her.”

Of course, I modified the passage to meet me as a woman and added emphasis.

I choose to control the storms of my soul, do you? There are definitely times in my life where I have allowed uncontrolled passion to make me lash out at others, unprocessed grief has run havoc on my life, and anxiety and doubt have overwhelmed me. If you are like me, these are not states you choose to experience. So why do we?

It is because we believe our thoughts to be the result of our external life, instead of something we have control over. The key is watching where your thoughts are leading and to be their master instead of them dictating your state. Does that mean you will never experience passion, grief, doubt or anxiety? Absolutely not. But it does mean these will not control you. I am learning to be master of my thoughts, and therefore of my fate. How about you?